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Thursday, June 29, 2006

Brokeback Mountain Review

With your empty smile
And your hungry heart.
Feel the bile rising from your guilty past.

I rent movies all the time. I mostly rent movies because they give me a reason to go back to the community center --community center and library are in the same building-- to work out because if I skip a day, then the movie I rented would be late. So while I was flipping through the movies I noticed they had Brokeback Mountain, the movie about gay cowboys.

I figured it might be worth a look since it nearly won Best Picture of 2005. Before I get into my review I just want to give my opinion on the “gay” topic and everything.

Homosexuals don’t bother me at all. I don’t care if they hold hands, sit on each other’s laps, and I certainly don’t care if they love each other and decide to get married (or civil union or whatever). In fact if I was sitting at bench at a park and there were a gay couple holding hands and then an ugly hetero couple doing the same thing. I would probably be more repulsed by the ugly couple.

If Nick Van Exel and Star Jones (or Sarah Jessica Parker and Bill Walton--or you can mix and match however you like) decided that they completed each other I wouldn’t have a problem with it but I may make a face that mirrors my reaction during 7th grade health class watching “The Miracle of Birth”. I don’t think they should legislate against that though. I mean the thought of Exel spooning Jones is nasty but if they love each other, I really don’t care. I mean I’m not gay but I’m not willing to take away rights of those who are just because I don’t understand it.

As for Brokeback Mountain, I’m certainly glad this didn’t win best picture because it was nowhere near “Best Picture” material. The love story between the two cowboys wasn’t all that good. In fact I’m a little pissed at it. I mean if you’re going to make a movie about a gay couple, don’t have them act like complete pussies and worry through the whole movie. Maybe give them a moment where they collectively shout out,
“Fuck this, I’m gay!” to the people of Townsville. Then the guys would get together and exchange glances as the townspeople hang them in front of city hall. I think that would be a better ending than this.

Throughout the whole movie we have to watch how these two cowboys struggle with their gayness and it just drags on and on.

For me the best part of this movie was the setting. It takes place in the Wyoming and for those who haven’t been there, Wyoming and the surrounding area is breathtaking. They also did a great job in containing the wide blue sky in most of the movie.

Also, Anne Hathaway is very good in this movie which brings me to my main barb in this movie. With all the press and all the reviews of this movie, why wasn’t I informed that Anne Hathaway is topless in this movie? I mean all I ever heard was the homosexual cowboys and how controversial it is and blah blah blah, but no one ever mentions Anne Hathaway topless. No one! Also I thought it was interesting that Hathaway gets progressively uglier as the movie goes on. I didn’t think that was possible.

Overall the movie is slow and I didn't find anything too special in this movie.

Basically, don’t rent this crap.

1 comment:

The Steph said...

So was it a bad move to buy it the other day? We haven't watched it yet - but we did get it in our 3 for $30 pile.