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Thursday, June 22, 2006

A Couple Bits

How about me not blaming you for everything
How about me enjoying the moment for once
How about how good it feels to finally forgive you
How about grieving it all one at a time

-So my future landlord has already shown me a pretty wild mood swing, a wacky and weird sense of humor, and she’s already “drunk dialed” me and I’m weeks away from moving in. Last week I get this call--out of the blue-- from a really happy landlord and she’s rambling and laughing and telling me stuff that I really don’t care about. It was actually a pretty entertaining conversation on my end.

The next day I get this message,
“Hey Tom, apparently I called you last night and I have no idea what I said. I’m really embarrassed and freaked out. I just want to apologize for whatever I said. I’m kinda embarrassed.”

Now I’m a pretty tolerant roommate. I’ve had to deal with lazy asses who sit all day on the couch, ones who make the entire room smell like an ashtray, ones who decide to fit 4x8’ table in a dorm room that’s about 6x10 while you’re away on vacation, and others who wake up at midnight thinking it’s 6am (classic moment in H roommate history). I have never had a roommate this…unusual (for lack of a better term).

-I’m in the midst of a pretty big transition period. I’m moving in a couple weeks, work is about to change significantly in regards to shifts, and I feel like I’m on drugs. Perhaps it’s been the recent string of great days or my anticipation for my “transition period” (or my period, if you will hahaha) but lately I have the benefits of being drunk without the bad things associated with it.

For one thing, I’ve been really talkative lately. I can usually handle conversations nicely but lately I’ve been chatting it up with everyone. If there was someone that I knew from the past going grocery shopping or something I would try like hell to avoid them just to save myself from the tiring “so, what are you up to” conversations. Now I go out of my way to talk to these people.

Even the upcoming family reunion is something I’m kinda/sorta looking forward to and that’s always been a pain in the ass.

I’m thinking I should buy a hammock or something.

-The big story around the cities is how a couple boys tortured the crap out of a puppy. Everyone has been talking about this, including sugar tits. The radio shows have this as one of their top stories, anchors are playing the “mourning music”, and people are probably crying.
Out of the three boys, two were 6 years old while the other was 8.
While it is cruel, shocking, gross, unethical, and gives these kids bad karma I just don’t see how this is news.

As a rule of thumb, 4-8 year old boys are completely screwed up (at least me, my brother, and the kids we hung out with were). They are pretty much just a little smarter than dogs but not by much. They'll still crap in your yard if you'll let them!

I guarantee if you take a gang of 6 year old boys and have them roam wild around the neighborhood, shits gonna happen. One could leave a 6 year old for 5 minutes in the back yard and a fire will start somehow, someway, and somewhere. If there’s an animal around, all bets are off, especially with a group of kids. It all has to do with the puppy dog tails and snails deal because little boys are completely crazy. None know any better and none have the ability to care.

Hell, 13 year old boys are crazy. I remember we had school mates that put bleach in thier mini water guns and sprayed people!

Boys do varying degrees of stupid things because they simply don’t know better. Take it from me, when I was 7, I was forced to play soccer and one time I urinated on the field in protest because the coach wouldn’t put in a sub for me. It was shocking, gross, unethical, and enough for the other parents to look at my mom like ’spank this kid right now’. There was about 30 people looking in horror as I was doing my little pee-pee sway out in the field.

To me the story about these kids doing stupid crap to a puppy is no different than a headline like,
7 year old kid urinates on soccer field, scores a goal"

-Kyle Lohse has to go.



Aliecat said...

Haha! I love how you linked to me! I hope my first child is a boy, just so I can laugh at his idiotic exploits. But if he beats a puppy, is ass is grass.

Anonymous said...

Your future landlord is looking forward to talking to your microphone! Maybe the rent will go down!