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Monday, June 26, 2006

More Twins Crap

Oh lie
I thought you were golden
I thought you were wise
Caught you returning
To the house you caught fire


-No progress
Back in 1991 the Twins won 15 games in a row which gave them the confidence to make the playoffs and eventually win the world series. The Twins started that winning streak being an everday, average team in the AL West and eventually moved to the top of their division.
Basically it was good times.
Recently the Twins have had a similar streak,--a streak that happens to a team once ever couple years where the pitching is air tight, where everything is hit in the clutch, and all the throws are on the money. It’s the baseball equivalent of the Midas Touch.

After winning 14 of 16 games you’d think the Twins would be screaming their way up the standings. I mean you have to right? They haven’t because the last week in a half I would go through this motion,

Check twins score
“Oh cool, they won again. Hopefully the Tigers lost.”
Checking Tigers score
“Faaaak, they won again!
Checking the White Sox score--a score which they were losing 5-2
“Son of a…! They came from behind to win their game too!”

Since the Twins have had their excellent run the Tigers --division leading Tigers-- are also 14 of 16 and the White Sox have even gone 16-4 over their last 20 games.

Basically whatever kool-aid the Twins have been drinking the Tigers and White Sox have been drinking the exact same thing.

The worst part is they’ve been winning against decent teams too. St. Louis (2nd best team in the national league) came to Chicago and…the Sox swept them. The Sox then tossed those Cardinals towards the Tigers who then torched the Cards for three more wins.

And then a 9-2 lead against the sox isn’t quite enough for the Astros!

Twins have barely gained a game on these two teams as a result of all the damn kool-aid drinking.

-Minute Maid Park
So if you were to sneeze at home plate at Minute Maid park you’d probably hit your head on the left field fence because it is so rediculously close to the plate. The dimensions of this silly place are a complete joke and should never ever ever ever ever ever ever be copied for the sake of this beautiful game.
When I heard this quote from shooter's column,
“What the Twins don't want is a stadium comparable to those in home run-friendly Houston, Cincinnati and Philadelphia.
"We don't want a band-box park," St. Peter said.”


PRAISE THE LORD!!! I felt the need to contribute all $20 in my pocket to the Make A Wish Foundation. If they were to build a bathtub stadium I would vomit like no one has ever vomited before.

-lab managers
At work I’m in the midst of lining things up for a air quality maintenance of certain buildings. I need to fill out this “Shut Down Notice” so that all building occupants are aware that something will be turned off whether it’s: water, HVAC, bathrooms, ect.

I fill out one shut down notice all these lab managers think they know all about HVAC units.

These lab people may be incredibly gifted at looking at the chromosomes of a frog and then turning around and using those same chromosomes to make a car or something, but they have not a damn clue when it comes to construction and maintenance.

Phone rings
Lab manager: So are you really going to be turning off the ventilation to our building everyday for 3 weeks?
Boof: For one thing we’re not “turning off” the ventilation. We’re going to be affecting the ventilation to the building
LM: Well, is there any way to do this some other time?
Boof: ah no, this is the only time we can do this.
LM: Well, wont we suffocate without ventilation?
Boof: *sigh* no-sir you wont even notice a difference.
LM: Well I’m a pretty big lab manager here and I work until 6pm a lot of nights. I work hard for my family and own a Dodge Stratus and I think this could affect…

Blah blah blah…It’s those kind of conversations that I somewhat enjoy because it’s painfully obvious that the guy doesn’t get the respect he would like at home or in the office and as a result he wants to lecture me at my job. It's not like I grill him about making cars out of chromosomes or anything.

Tom Petty and Pearl Jam for the next few days so I may or may not be around.

1 comment:

The Steph said...

Ahhhhh. Kool-aid. Yessssssssssss.