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Sunday, July 30, 2006

Tiger Crap

Ooh Superman where are you now
When everything's gone wrong somehow
The men of steel, the men of power
Are losing control by the hour.

Crap List

1. Aaron
This definitely seems like biting the hand that feeds but if someone can suck their own dick, AG seems to have not only performed, but mastered this art. Before I go any further is probably one of *the* best baseball blogs around. There is no one that can come up with some sort of crazy stat that will support an argument like Gleeman can do. Sugar Tits, if you think my baseball stuff is over your head,’s stuff will leave you bewildered. I don’t even get half the stats he comes up with!

I’ve been reading his stuff for over 3 years when he started out as Aaron’s Baseball Blog and slowly but surely he’s turned into arguably the best baseball blog in well…baseball. Big named columnists come to this blog and he even got a half page in Sports Illustrated a couple months ago.

Since all this, his daily entries have been to the tune of,
“Soandso has now been in the bullpen for 2 weeks with stellar stuff. I’ve been saying this all along since this date (there’d be a link included).”
“I’ve been writing about my frustration with soandso and now the twins are winning after benching soandso”
“blahblahblah deserves to be in the clean up spot, I’ve been saying this for years, finally he’s in the clean up spot and he’s hitting the crap out of the ball”

Those are all made up quotes but everyday he has these bullet points that basically go,
  • I’m awesome
  • Twins totally need to hire me as the GM
  • I’m right about everything

But the thing is, he’s wrong about stuff too but you’d NEVER hear it on his page. He said the Twins were finished even after their 12 (or whatever it was) game winning streak.

His stuff is still good but get a little more objective and get a little perspective.

2. Sports guys who are uncoordinated
If you go to a Twins game on Saturday they always have a home run derby type of thing featuring TC the Bear (still don’t care for that mascot) and some pseudo local celebs. Everyone bats from centerfield and gets softballs underhanded to them. There’s no real prize so to speak and nobody wins anything but it’s just fun to watch.

Back in the day I saw the anchors from the local television station go out and attempt to hit softball homers.

The lead anchor goes first and his…one homer. No big deal
The female anchor steps up and hits the ball hard. Cool
The weatherman steps ups and hits like three homers. Cool
The sports guy then walks up to the plate and I’m figuring this guy will hand everyone their ass at this match.
Nope, he could barely muster a grounder and didn’t even come close to the fence.

He should get a cut in pay for that monstrosity!

Last Saturday H’s roommate steps up and whiffs at an underhanded softball.


Good lord

3. Clerks II
I was thinking about walking out at the midpoint. Now I wish I had.
More about this turd-burger tomorrow.

1 comment:

Aliecat said...

I only want to see that movie for the part where Jay does the Silence of the Lambs dance.