Forty years go by with someone laying in your bed
Forty years of things you say you wish you'd never said
How hard would it have been to say some kinder words instead
I wonder as I stare up at the sky turning red
Whenever the Twins battle the White Sox I want to watch the WGN version of the game because I want to see the blatent homerish calls that the annoying Hawk Harrelson has on TV. Hawk Harrelson is notorious for having a completely subjective slant toward the White Sox and it’s beyond bad. It’s like a 6 year old kid wearing a White Sox cap who wants the Sox to win 99-0 every god damn game.
With that I figure it would be the time to rate some of the baseball television announcers.
Hawk Harrelson WGN announcer for the White Sox: Hawk is a damn baby who is known to walk out of games if the White Sox are losing. He’s a complete baby who will berate an umpire for an entire series based on one close ball or strike. He constantly calls his White Sox “the Good Guys” as in,
“Well, we go to the bottom of the 4th. Good guys are down 3-0” If that doesn’t make you barf then you should listen to his home run call,
“AAAAND YOU CAN PUT IT ON THE BOOOOARRD….YOEEEESSS!” With this inane sidekick joining him on his “yoooeees”.
As annoying as he is, it’s one of the best things in the world to see this guy pout on the air and I revel every time he whines and cries about a close play that didn’t go in favor of the Sox.
Voice 9 (very good southern style accent)
Delivery 7 (very good with his laid back and smooth delivery but his made up words like “movingest” and “First-and-third’em” which gets annoying and drives his number back to a 7)
Knowledge of the game: 6 not the best due to all his anecdotes but he can handle his own.
Joe Morgan ESPN Sunday night analyst: While this guy may have a decent tone--a tone that makes him sound like he knows something--he actually doesn’t know anything. You have to listen carefully because in his jumbled manner he’ll blurt out,
“Torii Hunter is quite the power hitter.” and Jon Miller will quickly interrupt him for the play-by-play but did you catch that?
Hunter? A power hitter? Haha ahhhhh no.
Jon Miller ESPN Sunday Night play-by-play: I think Jon is one of the best play-by-play guys. I love his voice and his tidbits are presented in a comfortable and easy manor. I think this guy is one of the few announcers that have survived the golden age of radio (Jack Buck, Ernie Harwell, Harry Carey, Herb Carneal, Vin Scully, ect) where exciting and tourrette laded announcers are now taking up the scene. Miller seems like the old jolly guy that you’d want to hang out at White Castle with (along with Mark Rosen) and we’d be there talking for 3 days about baseball and stuff like that (hmm probably just a baseball fantasy but oh well).
Voice: 10 (one of the best)
Knowledge: 9 (for a play-by-play guy he seems to know a lot but he also knows when to ask questions and knows his limitations)
Dick Bremer Twins primary television announcer: I don’t mind Bremer that much at all. I think he does a pretty good job for a someone who works for the Twins (Twins seems to hire a bunch of losers media wise). Bremer grew up in western Minnesota and can actually deal with Bert Blyleven which is a pretty hefty job in itself. He seems to be a full blown Twins fan but keeps the games relatively objective along with a fans view of other games. The one thing that bothers me is his excited home run call because it sounds like some college student who doesn’t know how to control his voice or tone. A lot of times it sounds like his excited voice over modulates and it’s just…frown able.
Knowledge: 8 (which aren’t bad for local play-by-play guys)
Bert Blyleven color commentator for the Twins: I consider myself to be a pretty big baseball fan. I hate distractions from the game (the wave, the guy trying to get in your section in the middle of an at bat, and anything non baseball) but Bert is just crazy and I like it. He’s the perfect, non-perfect color guy. He constantly says “at the major league level” to start and end his sentences and refers to his “California math” along with announcing how many days until his birthday which I should find annoying but I find it endearing. It’s like the guy is my real father or something. I’m reveling for the day that he lights Dick Bremer’s shoes on fire on the air. I don’t know what it is because he can be a very insightful baseball personality at one time and two minutes later be talking about his pubes (he actually did one time). I hope to see this guy at White Castle more often.
Knowledge: 8 (yeah but the guy is fun!)
Joe Buck Fox’s national play-by-play announcer: Joe Buck seems like the biggest prick in the whole world. If this guy sat by us (me, Mark Rosen, and Jon Miller) I would punch this guy in the face and shove him down the toilet. It seems like a total shame that his father’s grace and down home delivery didn’t rub off even a little bit. Every time I see this guys face with his wannabe “intellectual glasses” I want to thrash the guy. If his name was something other than “Buck” he would not be where he is.
Voice: 2 (I hate this guy’s voice. It resembles the current paradigm of young and pewking voice which seems ideal for the new age ADD viewers. His voice has no character and anyone can mimic such a voice.)
Delivery: 7 (while I can’t stand his voice, his delivery is pretty smooth.)
Knowledge: 2 (he thinks he knows about the game, but if he managed, his team would probably go 0-162)
Tim McCarver FOX national color commentator: McCarver is the absolute worst. He comes across as some weird Fred Willard character with his terrible dye job and awkward pose of holding the mic and waiting for Joe Buck to finish his ten minute soliloquy on why drugs are bad for the game of baseball and why Budweiser is the King of Beers (for 16 year olds maybe).
When he talks though, ooohh god. I remember earlier in the year during a national broadcast Joe and McCarver were talking to a baseball insider about potential trades. They were naming off legitamite big-time pitchers who were on the trading block until McCarver added this,
TC: What about Johan Santana for trading. He’s one of the best pitchers in the league on a bad team (the Twins were just starting their good streak but I wont hold that against him)
Some expert: Well Johan is certaintanly one of the best pitchers in the league and he’s
TC: That doesn’t mean they wont trade him though.
Expert: well, let’s just say I seriously doubt they would be trading Santana because they don’t have any reason to. (laymen’s terms: you are a complete dumbass Tim. Why the hell would they trade him away?)
Here’s one sentence the guy has actually said,
"Fundamentals are a fundamental part of the game of baseball." - May 27th, 2006 from www.shutuptimmccarver.com
Voice: 3 (he’s an old man)
Delivery: 6 (not too bad but this content is horse shit)
Knowledge: 0 (It’s like listening to my mom)
Chris Berman ESPN play-by-play announcer: Chris Berman had his heyday about ten years ago with his cute little nicknames he’d give everyone but since he’s been holding on to his own past to deal life. ESPN had a baseball game back in the day which was one of the first for having a home run derby in which Berman’s annoying,
“Back-back-back-back-back-back-back-back-back-back-back-back-back-GONE” was popular somehow. Like any other game with a home run derby, one could hit like 50 homers and every time you had to hear that annoying home run call. It was after the 50th home run I hit with Pete Incaviglia that made me want to stop playing and hit the game with a 7 iron.
Now Berman is STILL doing the stupid nickname game and that home run call is just annoying. It’s like George Costanza and his “Joke store” comment.
Voice: 4 (reeks of alcoholic pork rhines fat harry dude)
Delivery: 3 (he’s got a pretty terrible delivery)
Knowledge 2 (NFL guys don’t know crap about baseball)
I must also mention that these announcers have their own website preaching about how bad they are.
Tim McCarver: http://shutuptimmccarver.com/
Hawk Harrelson: http://www.heavethehawk.com/
Both have good/terrible quotes by the guys and it’s worth the time.
I’ll have my radio announcers version of this in the near future.
Have a good weekend everyone.