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Monday, September 11, 2006

Blasted Disc 7!

Broken bottles under children's feet
Bodies strewn across the dead-end street.
But I won't heed the battle call
It puts my back up, puts my back up against the wall.


Crap List

1. Golfing…for 6 hours
Saturday was my company’s golf outing and while it was fun and…free, it took forever and a day to complete one full round of a four person scramble. We had about nine teams of four people. 2 groups (8 people) started the first hole so we had to start out waiting for a group to go. After that it went at a snails pace especially the par 5s where we had 3 groups waiting.

We’d hit, and then wait for 20 minutes, then hit, and then wait for 20 minutes. I played horribly partly because I was so bored with the waiting, but I think I may have won the longest drive competition (which was my one goal of the gig).

I think it was the 6th hole we completed where we were talking about the pace of the game.
Boof: You know, we’ve been playing for two in a half hours already?
Partner: you gotta be shitting me
Boof: nah, at this pace we’ll get done at around 6pm and I got a barbeque at my place at 5pm.

I actually had to leave early just so I wasn’t late to my own barbeque (which I was anyway).

2. Smell ‘em
One of the main things I went to the State Fair for was the Twins “Smell ‘em” shirts. I don’t know the exact story but I know it has something to do with the backup catcher, Mark Redmond who runs around naked in the Twins clubhouse. Anyway, these shirts are supposed to carry the Twins through the September stretch.

These shirts came out not too long ago and the only places to buy this shirt was at the State Fair and some sporting goods place in Minneapolis. Me being the Twins fan I am, I need this shirt in the worst possible way so I bought one at the Fair for $18 at their booth.

Now I find these shirts at the local grocery store for $9.

(blink:blink) I’ve been duped!

This reminds me of my first concert experience when I went to see Def Leppard at the State Fair many moons ago. I was a wittle 12 year old and I wanted this Def Leppard cap because I was a cap guy and I still am. With the money that worked so hard for, I bought this cap at the concert for $25. I wore it for the next week or so before I figured out it was decidedly uncool.

So I peruse the shelves at Musicland and find this same Def Leppard cap, on clearance (like seven times, it had like seven of those orange stickers over each other) and the price said….

$1.50

I was heartbroken because $20 at 12 is like $500 right now.

Fuck Def Leppard.

3. 2nd season of 24 disc 7 at the North St. Paul Library
I’m in the thick of the 2nd season and I’m getting really into it. I’m finishing all the episodes with a, “WOOAAAHHHH HOLY SHIT!!!!” or a “Good god what the hell is going on?”
And I’m loving it all.

I’m on the last disk (of 7 for Christ’s sake). I get my Doritos out, insert the disk in the DVD player, set the audio for 5.1, and turn down the lights. I wait and the usual FBI warning notice comes on and I wait.

I wait longer.

And I continue to wait for the main title screen.

Nothing and I get this message that reads, “DISC UNREADABLE”

“DISC UNREADABLE!?!?” I yell out as I toss my bag of chips to the side.

I start to twitch and the blue flame of anger starts to grow inside of me. So I take the disc out and rub it around a little and put some elbow grease on it thinking that the disc needs a little attention.

I pop the disc back in and it did no good.

My backup plan is to use my Playstation 2 which has been collecting dust for the past year (why the hell did I buy one anyway?) and I try that.
Now I get Sony’s version of “Disc Unreadable”

And now I’m like a crackhead looking for change in a couch at a hotel lobby. My last resort was to try my computer and that alone is pretty pathetic seeing as I have a 52” screen tv and I have to relagate to 14 inches instead. The computer didn’t even work so now I was without the last four episodes of 24 right in the middle of my extreme addiction.

So I actually had to rent something at Blockbuster. I finished the 4 hour disk in 4.5 hours and then I took it back.

So SCREW YOU RAMSEY COUNTY LIBRARY SYSTEM AND WHOMEVER SCREWED UP 24 SEASON 2 DISK 7! You’re a waste of space!

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