I Just have that secret hope
sometimes all we do is cope
Somewhere on the steepest slope
There's an endless rope
and nobody's crying.
With Monday Night Football only to go the Colostomy Crushers were trailing the Super Duper Pooper Doopers by 17 points. I had Antonio Gates and Nate Kaeding yet to play and it came down to the last touchdown.
I remember watching the NFL Gameday deal when I said with my eye crossed and my tongue sticking out,
“Hey, what I need right now is an Antonio Gates touchdown”.
Sure enough it happened and therefore CC and SDPD were tied at 75 points. One meaningless touchdown later and the Colostomy Crushers stole the victory.
Other than that week one was absolutely boring. There were no memorable games and the primetime games were nothing more than a 3-and-out fest. I cared more about the baseball games than any of the football ones.
Last week I went 10-5 which is completely awesome for week 1.
Buffalo @ Miami
Buffalo has 2 rookie safeties against Daunte whom didn’t look good against the Steelers. Then again who would look good against the Steelers?
Miami’s at home and Daunte goes off.
Dolphins 30 Bills 17
Cleveland @ Cincinnati
Bwahahahhahahaha eeeeehhhhhhhhhhh hahahahhaha
Bengals 34 Browns 13
Detroit @ Chicago
You know the Lions, for that ooberly ugly ass game they played last week, played the Seahawks pretty well. Chicago looked really good against the Packers but dare I say Sarah Jessica Parker could look good playing against the Packers???
Bears 20 Lions 17
Houston @ Indianapolis
Colts 30 Texans 10
New Orleans @ Green Bay
Last year the Packers beat the living hell out of the Saints. Uh… that’s all I really have to add about this game.
Saints 24 Packers 20
NY Giants @ Philadelphia
This sounds like a pretty cool game. Brandon Jacobs looks like like a ten foot tall beastman when he’s in the backfield. I think Jacobs is actually Bill Brasky
Giants 27 Eagles 17
Oakland @ Baltimore
OMFG does Oakland suck ass. Geez who the hell sets out during the off season and decides to add Aaron Brooks as their new starter? God damn Al Davis, you’re a stupid ass old guy!
Ravens 30 Raiders 3
Tampa Bay @ Atlanta
Both these teams had me duped last week. I wont let that happen again
Falcons 27 Bucs 6
Arizona @ Seattle
This is the test to see how good Seattle is and how good the Cardinals are. I think both teams have regressed and progressed respectfully but I don’t know how much. I think this game is an absolute shoot out.
Seahawks 38 Cards 31
St. Louis @ San Francisco
I think both these teams have progressed too. I do think that Steven Jackson will destroy the 49ers though. DESTROY!!!! He better anyway.
Rams 27 49ers 20
Kansas City @ Denver
What the hell was Denver doing last week? I thought Jake Plummer was going to be awesome with Javon Walker to throw too. Stupid Mike Shananagans and his hatred for fantasy football.
Broncos 21 Chiefs 20
New England @ NY Jets
I gotta go with the Pats because I don’t know anything about the Jets
Pats 24 Jets 21
Tennessee @ San Diego
San Diego is awesome and Kerry Collins is playing for the Titans.
Chargers 33 Titans 14
Washington @ Dallas
I think Dallas has this in the damn bag man.
Cowboys 24 Redskins 17
Pittsburgh @ Jacksonville
My upset special of the week. Jacksonville baby! Yeah
Jaguars 21 Steelers 17
Carolina @ Minnesota
Damn those Panthers for screwing over my fantasy team. I think Steve Hutchinson could move a damn building out of the way for Chester Taylor. Chester Taylor could wear rollerskates and do the hustle going through that left side.
Vikings 24 Panthers 20
Have a fucking sweetass weekend everyone.