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Thursday, October 19, 2006

Bulb Bits

Every word of every song that he sang was for you.
In a flash he was gone
it happened so soon,

-I’ve learned two very important lessons this week. One of which I learned from my own laziness and the other from someone else’s mistake.

Always wear your seatbelt (or a buck will hit you)
Be honest (or it will bite you in the ass)

-Speaking of that buck, I think after further review, the thing must’ve jumped over my car. If that’s the case then I feel like I should be given points like a I was playing a video game. Perhaps I should’ve hopped on the deer and he’d turn upside down and fall into nothingness.
Plus 1000 points!

-I know it makes Sugar Tits very jealous but I did indeed receive the “blogger of the day” award for last Thursdays entry and it’s my forth time being awarded such a title. Now I feel like I could hijack a really small plane (like Cory Lidle) and accidentally crash into a high rise and receive tons of media and sympathy from G4 (or maybe the game show network) and I will be dubbed an American hero.

Local blogger, goofball crashes into the high rise.

-okay now that I know homeland security is reading this I want you to know that I don’t plan on doing such a stunt. I may make a reenactment with milk jugs and paper figures though. Hmmmm

-I’m wondering if St. Louis faces Detroit in the World Series, would FOX just pack up and not broadcast it because there’s not big market involved? I’m wondering if ESPN would bother to bring a reporter because there’s no Derek Jeter story or any Red Sox drama to report. Maybe they’ll bring a guy out there and say,
“Hi I’m Ralph and here at Comerica Park, where the Red Sox lost 5 games, Game one will be played. Today’s game is 31 years from the famous 1975 world series between the Red Sox and some other team.”

-The Colostomy Crushers had a league season high 103 points going into Monday night. For having high score of the week we receive $3 which is awesome for some reason. Anyway, lets just say someone had the Bears defense and Anquan Boldin and I was outscored 122-109. I mean, god damn. That’s just a big bowl of suck.

-My television, my baby, is sick. I was watching the highlights to the Bears/Cards game when,
“POOF” everything turned black. Apparently the bulb blew and now I gotta get a new one. I just hope I fan find my service plan deal so I don’t have to pay for the $200 bulb. God dammit.

-Finally, although I had been strung along for a couple months and I’m above being vengeful, it’s just fitting that fate would end up serving the cold dish to someone who was never honest.


Anonymous said...

"Ding, ding, ding. Order's up."

Aliecat said...

Damn straight I'm jealous! Revenge? For whom?