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Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Crap, Vin Baker?

And I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away

I was busy the other night so here’s a Tuesday Crap List.

Crap List

1. How long does it take to get a damn cheeseburger?
I stop at Burger King for one little cheeseburger and it takes about 15 minutes. That’s inexcusable (what would possibly be a good excuse for a place called “Burger King” to not throw me a cheeseburger within 15 minutes… I mean I should be in the middle of a field at 3am and yell to the sky for a damn cheeseburger and Burger King should be able to pick up my hungry signal and drop one from the sky…am I wrong?). I guess there may be on excuse, perhaps the fat asshead in front of me decided to order everything with a side of everything else and I gotta wait for the damn kid to wheel out 4-six pound buckets of fat to this guys van.
My burger place will be much more customer friendly in that I’ll at least have burgers falling from the sky.

2. Worthless security guards
I need the assistance of plenty of guards at work so it’s never out of the ordinary to call up security for assistance. Well, I had to go off site (because my workers are dimwits) and I’m meeting this guard for the first time at this other site. I arrive to the site of some fat headed cocky son of a bitch.
Guard: very good, go through
Boof: I’m sorry to bug you but is there any chance I could get building XX unlocked? I got a package waiting for me.
(Guard looking at me with this smile that says “I’ll never do anything for you. Ever. But it is really funny to me that you’re asking)
(Boof in return looking at this fat dumbass with a serious “get that fucking look off your face you fat piece of shit“ look)
Guard: I’m sorry sir we can’t do that for you.

And that’s all that he needed to say in the first place. No stupid grins or remarks. In fact, the more I think about it, this guy was indeed The Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons.

3. Vin Baker
He was on the front page of the Sports section again yesterday with a decent sized story about his career. When the T-Wolves first signed him, he had a blurb on the front page!
Vin Baker!

The guy who hasn’t done a thing in ten years. At one point, he was a decent player but even I know that he’s pretty much a waste of a bench and I’m not a basketball guy. Basically this years T-wolves team is going to be so god damn boring that the newspapers and team will feel the need to present Vin Baker to the fans. For some reason that makes me cringe just like how some tickets are $40 for such a stupid league.

I can’t wait to hear the ads on the radio,
“Come watch Vin Baker and the T-wolves as they attempt to thrash the Celtics! Buy your tickets now!”

It’s like the Twins using Ruben Sierra as a selling point.
“Come watch Ruben Sierra and your Minnesota Twins as they slaughter the White Sox”

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