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Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Deer, we're through!

I got scratches all over my arms
One for each day since I fell apart
I did, oh, what I had to do
If there was a reason it was you

Last night I had a crazy experience.

So after work I was dinking around town here getting gas and running a few errands before I went home. It was a cold, wet rainy night as I was heading down the street and my mind is wandering. I’m thinking about what I’m going to do tomorrow, what If my roommate is back from her vacation, and who I need to call tomorrow.

Still wandering I continue to drive down a straightaway toward my place when I look out toward the end of the street. Time then slowed down because that’s when I saw dimmed body of an animal near my front fender from the corner of my eye. With that came the head of the giant buck lunging across my hood--this is while I’m going 40mph--and I can see all the antlers right in front of me.

It was less than a second and I immediately braced myself because I thought this buck would run right into my car (he was pretty much right there). I briefly closed my eyes and hunched toward the middle of my console and waited.


I checked my nuts, checked my face, and checked my arm and I was all there. I checked the door and it wasn’t dented. I even checked the window and it wasn’t cracked. I then got outside to check the colossal ding on the side of my car--nothing. I couldn’t find anything.

AND DON’T YOU DARE SAY THAT IT DIDN’T HAPPEN. It happened just like that bear that I saw (he had a giant jar of honey wrapped around his nose). But the only thing on my car that I could find was one scratch towards the roof. I looked at my car in amazement with the adrenalin still pumping and I couldn’t believe it.

I then went home and went to sleep.

Quite frankly I’m disappointed because I, afterall, named my fantasy team “The Deer” two years ago and I figured I had this silent understanding between me and my fellow deer. How dare one collides with my boofmobile! I’m so outraged that I’m going to wage war on the deer and eat venison whenever I can.

There! Take that you dumb deers!

The end.

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