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Wednesday, October 25, 2006

New Ballpark Ideas

Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are

With the new ballpark being drawn up and the ideas flowing, the Star Tribune had an article on the ideas that some people have sent in for the new ballpark. I would’ve done the same but I figure, they should look HERE for my thoughts. I’m the ballpark knowitall!

Here’s what some of the suggestions were from this article,

"Create areas that provide MN flavor, such as a stream around the stadium where people paddle in canoes ... [and] polka dancing area -- make it [a] tradition during 7th-inning stretch."
I agree with part of this, I think a water feature that extends to a large area of the ballpark--maybe even around the ballpark--would be awesome. It could represent the Mississippi River and one side could be St. Paul and the other Minneapolis. The polka dancing area and making it a 7th inning stretch deal…ummmmmmm no.

"I'd like to see a replica of St. Anthony Falls behind the fence in straight-away centerfield."
Oooooh I like this idea too. St. Anthony Falls was *the*feature of Minneapolis back in the day. If there’s a way to put this somewhere, I think that would be a good choice.

"I would like to see the big weather ball from Northwestern Bank incorporated into the park somehow."
I don’t know what the hell the Northwestern Bank weather ball is. I’ll have to look in my book about that.

"Put a Ferris wheel in the outfield stands."
No, nononononononononon We don’t want any carney folk in this ballpark. We don’t need anything to distract from the game like a stupid looking ferris wheel in the outfield. Now I know that the current carney folk have dressed it up a little bit but I still don’t want to see those adam’s apples and the actual red necks.

"It would be cool to set up a system where the fans could text message an order for food or beverages to the roving vendors."
You know there’s got to be something like this to make it easier to pass out food. I’ve had thoughts of making holes between the seats so venders could push hot dogs through. Like you could drop a ten in the hole and watch the game and when you look back there’s a hot dog with a mysterious hand coming out from the hole (wow, that sounds awful). I dunno, something like that.

"Large bronze statue of Kirby Puckett at the ballpark's front gates."
Shhhhheshhh I’ve come to know that a lot of women don’t like Kirby Puckett and rightfully so. I’m not against it but if they do Kirby, they should do Carew, Hrbek, Oliva, Killabrew, ect. The way Wisconsin fans treat Brett Favre seems to be the same way the fans are treating Puckett now that he’s passed. Kirby is Minnesota’s Jesus.

"Field of Dreams: Similar to the movie, it would be a nice touch if you could find space for a few rows of corn."
There’s going to be some space in centerfield where there needs to be something dark for the hitters. I doubt they would put corn in there but I think instead of corn they should have some maple trees, oak trees, and maybe a pine thrown in. That way in September and October the leaves change and it would bring a cool dynamic to the game. Maybe the centerfielder will have leaves keeping him company in center. I think that would be cool.
I remember when the Cubs were in the NLCS and the ivy was turning brown. It was weird because no ones ever seen the ivy in October (subtle joke right there).

"Have free wireless Internet throughout the stadium."
For what? So you can bring your damn laptop and watch the game? I can just imagine some idiot in right field catching up on his spreadsheets when a homer is hit right too him. Said idiot then spill his mochalacchachino on laptop and cries like a little girl. Geez what is this place? The library? OH AND ANOTHER THING, obvious this person didn’t hear the story that Minneapolis will be all wireless in a couple years. Dumbass.

"Put a hockey rink in right field."
Haw haw I appreciate the humor. It’s got to be humor or someone really special.

"Please sell Dip-n-Dots in bowls."
I’ve never had Dip-n-Dots before but I’ve heard good things. Anyone ever had these?

"Make the stadium retractable roof ready. You have a lot of fans in North and South Dakota that need to know we will see a game when we drive 300 miles one way."
Oh will you fucking wussies shut up about the weather. There’s about 4 games called for weather every year so the chances aren’t likely you’ll miss the game. If that’s a problem then stay an extra day. I can’t believe all the damn freeze babies whining over--not January weather, not February weather, not even December weather--but September/October weather. Where the low usually gets down to 40 degrees. Oh lord, move to Texas if you can’t handle October weather.

"Please hire a professional organist and let him or her play between innings. Blasting pop music all the time was fine in the Dome, but baseball fans want an atmosphere like Wrigley Field, not a football stadium."
Yes! Good call! There needs to be an organist in this new place. There’s nothing more baseball than a damn good organist.

"Don't give in to the people pushing for a roof. We Minnesotans embrace the weather, whatever it is. Heated seats is all we need."
THANK YOU!!!! God damn whiners. Heated seats will be cool. Bring a blanket and you’ll be toasty warm.

"Retractable roof, hotel and pool on complex, casino, batting cages and pitching machines, mini-mall with restaurants, movie theater."
No, lets not turn this place into Las Vegas please. I know people have ADD but we don’t need all that damn crap.

"Minnesota should have the world's largest log cabin stadium."
Not a bad Idea but no thanks. I’ve never been privileged to have a cabin so poo-poo!

1 comment:

Aliecat said...

Happy belated birthday!