The mind is grey like the city.
Packing in and overgrown.
Love is deep. Dig it out.
Standing in a hole alone.
Thanksgiving ‘06, Wisconsin
We had a full table of family complete with Grandma, cousins, uncles, aunts, and the token weird people who I’ve never met (there’s always weird people that I’ve never met at Thanksgiving). We were all eating turkey and exchanging pleasantries when we got to the topic of dessert. Somehow, someway we got to apple pie when the following dialogue happened.
Aunt: Well, putting a slice of cheese onto apple pie was how Wisconsonites do things sometimes.
Boof chuckling: haha yeah I bet. Might as well put cheese on everything eh?
Aunt: I’m serious. Putting a slice of cheese on a slice of apple pie is a old time Wisconsin thing.
Boof: No. I refuse to believe that. There’s no way that is true.
Grandma: It is true. “A slice without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze.” as we used to say.
Boof: Are. You. Serious?
And everyone was adamant that cheese on apple pie is something that does indeed happen.
I couldn’t believe it. It seems like every year these Wisconsonites surprise me with their Favre love and their bubbler talk, and now the cheese on apple pie nonsense. I mean I like apple pie and I like cheese but mixing the two is like “crossing the streams” and such a combination could be something found in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
It just doesn’t make sense and to top it all off, you put the pie (with cheese already lain on top) in the microwave so it melts over the slice! If you were to enter my world of weirdness, I always think of inside my body there’s this foreman enzyme who is in charge of whatever goes into my stomach. Periodically this foreman yells at his crew “MORE PIZZA COMING DOWN!!!” or “HE’S HAVING JO-JOS AGAIN, GET READY!” but if he was to see pie and cheese… “My god what the hell has he done now? He on an eating rampage and is mixing his pallets! Guy’s, today’s gonna be extra crappy!”
I told everyone I knew this whole cheese on pie thing and as we were drinking at the bar, we decided to try it. I figured that since Thanksgiving was over with, we could find a cheap apple pie at the grocery store. Hog then luckily had some leftover slices of American cheese so we were going to try this new concocktion of apple pie and cheese.
I either have (or will have) a video posted on my myspace page of me, Hog, and sweetcakes (my nickname for your gf Hog) trying pie with melted cheese on top.