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Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Weird Bits

Down and out
It can't be helped but there's a lot of it about.
With, without.
And who'll deny it's what the fighting's all about?


-So tell me if this is weird (part I)
It’s like 4:30am and I’m sleeping like a lion. I have some easy listening music on and it’s about as serene of a place as can be. For some reason I get one of those intuition things waking me up--kinda like when a centipede is like 4 inches away from your head. So I open my eye slowly, groggily until I find this tall dark object in my room.
My grogginess immediately turned into fright as it was evident that there was someone in my room. I shook a little and took a deep breath as I tried to stay still and study this person’s movements.
Who is this? Why is this person in my room? What are they doing in here?

I then recognized the person and it was Mr. BJ (from my move-in story) and blurted out,
“D? What are you doing?” and he stopped and muttered something and then darted out of the room.

It was at that point I was in severe ’WTF?’ mode. I mean that’s really, really scary and crazy to see someone in your dark room.

-Weird part II
Sunday morning I’m laying in bed listening to my new Ipod. I have the pre game shows on and I’m resting my eyes, enjoying the Sunday morning when I hear this, RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT on my window facing the golf course.
What the hell?
Could it be a golfer? Maybe it’s my roommate warning me that they’re going in the hot tub? Maybe it’s some drunk idiot?

So I opened my blinds not knowing what I could be in stake for.

As I flipped my blinds open I saw my mom outside with a little smile and my dad standing in the back with his hands in his pockets, also with a smile.
I was even more puzzled at this point because, simply, what the hell is going on? I open my window,
“Mom? What are you doing here?”
“I was hoping you’d give me a tour of your place”
“uh….okaaaaaay”

And I gave them a tour. But just think if I brought a girl home that previous night (don’t laugh too hard).

Sara Evans: What is that at the door, sexy?
Boof: What the hell? It’s uuhhhh. It’s--oh come on, not now…
Sara: Who is it?
Boof: It’s my parents
Sara: Why are your parents tapping on your window on a Sunday morning?
Boof: I’m asking the same thing right now.

-One interesting thing about the election was Congressional District 4 where Betty McCollum was running against Obi Sium. I knew both of their kids and I would like to share my favorite moments with each.

Betty McCollum’s kid: I was in the scouts with him and I remember when he got kicked out of our troop for attempting to kick the ass of one of the other kids-literally. He threw his foot back and then gave all he had to kick this kid in the ass but he missed and ended up landing on his back. It was funny and a nice swan song to his tenure in the Boy Scouts

Obi Sium’s kid: The only kid I ever had a fight with other than my brother. I remember it was 3rd or 4th grade and he threw a shoulder at me. I then chased him into the classroom where we exchanged a series of movie style, weak punches. He then gave me this Karate Kid-esque kick to my balls and I clocked him in the face. He cried, then the teacher took us by the shirts to the principal and then I cried.

-I don’t know why I got the urge recently. Maybe it’s because I practiced curling a couple weeks ago or because I saw a skiing billboard somewhere but I miss the Winter Olympics already. Last week I thought to myself, ‘when is the winter Olympics coming back? 2010! Oh god dammit that’s right it was this year.
But! 2010’s Winter Olympics is in Vancouver and I’m going to do whatever I can to go. I don’t care if I have to take out Vancouver’s trash, I’m going.
With that, I found one of my favorite moments in television with the closing ceremonies. Y’all are going to think this is the corniest thing ever but this clip is so beautiful, it nearly brings me to tears. Beautiful voice, beautiful brides, and one hell of a production.

2 comments:

Aliecat said...

Jesus Christ! He was in your room? Duct tape your butthole shut.

Anonymous said...

1 - Weird - random dudes not allowed in your room, especially if they get your name wrong

2 - Curling - did you join the Curling Club?