I'll shoot through your veins
I'll drive you insane
I'll poison your breath
And I'll love you to death
1. Thanksgiving ‘06
As it turns out, I’m going to my Aunt’s in Wisconsin. The Packers aren’t playing on Thanksgiving this year nor is there anything bad with my relatives from Wisconsin (other than they’re Packer fans). The thing I dreading is them seeing my shaved head and getting the usual conversation.
Relative: You shaved your head.
Me: yeah, I did.
Relative: Why did you do that?
My mom does this to me too. Do I ask you why you have YOUR hair the way it is? Do I ask why you wore that particular shirt or blouse? No because that would be considered rude and if I have my head shaved it’s because of two reasons.
1) I’m going bald. This should be one of those ‘don’t bring it up in front of him’ type of deals because that’s why we have so many shaven head nowadays, because they’re going bald and they don’t want to have that weird balding look. It’s to the point where I want to respond with a “I’M GOING BALD YOU DUMB SHIT!” but that would be considered rude.
2) I like it. I like having a shaven head. The women folk seem to especially like it and I kinda like the feel of it myself. It’s easy to maintain and it feels so damn good in the summer. It’s weird because when I had hair I wore a cap most of the time. Now that I have it shaved off I like to let the world see my bald head.
Also about Thanksgiving this year is that I got to wake up at 6am because we apparently have to get there at 10am for no god damn reason. This is why I hate spending a lot of time with my family, because they don’t do things the way I want them.
If I had it my way, I’d leave at noon, arrive at 4:30pm, eat, and then go home because that would be just enough time to catch up and not have to play trivial Pursuit against all those people who actually have room for all that useless knowledge.
2. The end of that stupid Vikings game
How more pathetic can it get when everyone has to wait for a team to kick an extra point when they already lost? Why doesn’t Brad Childress just read Romeo and Juliet at midfield while we’re at it? I know you don’t want to associate yourself with quitting but…you lost. Because your receivers suck and the quarterback is 40 years old, the offense is just nothing more than a quarterback and a running back and 5 yard dump offs.
3. To the people waiting in line for video games
I can understand the people who turn around and sell them for $2500 but for the people waiting outside for four days just to play the system for themselves and worse yet, the people who pay $2500, what the hell is wrong with you? I mean do you REALLY need to play the system that bad?
Obviously I don’t get it. I used to be as big of a Nintendo freak as they come…nearly 20 years ago but if I wanted to waste some time I would take a nap or take a dump or something and not wait in line for 4 days. Good god, why don’t they wait until it’s $100 cheaper and readily available.