But we are not snakes and what's more
We never will be
And if we stay swimming here forever we will
Never be free
Every week me and my closest friends have a typical Sunday of going to Buffalo Wild Wings (BW3) and watching football. We’re all in fantasy football together, we (at least I) like to rub it in when my guys score, and they serve us food. One of the biggest reasons why we go there is because they have nearly every NFL game on at the same time so you might see 5 people at a table all looking up in various directions.
Another reason why we went is something that just happened when we were there during week 2. About 4 of us were watching the Vikings squeak one out against Carolina when the Vikings actually scored a touchdown. Us, donning our Vikings jerseys, cheered and immediately focused on whatever other game we were watching. Suddenly this dorky looking Ben Stiller character came to our table to hand out these cards.
“What is this about?” Someone asked.
“Well, whenever the Vikings score a touchdown and someone is wearing a Vikings jersey, you get free wings.” Said the manager
We all looked at our cards which said “6 free wings” written in pen on the back of the card and immediately thought, ‘Sweet! Free Wings!’ and just before we were going to cash in someone said,
“You know, since we come here every Sunday to watch the Vikings and there really is no limitations to whatever he scribbled on the back of these cards, lets just have a wing party at the end of the year!”
And it was at that point that we looked forward to this undecided date in December (because one of the cards actually did have an expiration date of 12/28/06 or something).
Every week we would bore ourselves to death watching that miserable Vikings offense, every week we would use our collective heroic efforts to stay awake, and every week we would constantly bug those waitresses for refills or ask them to change the stupid Texans/Titans game for another game more interesting all for the dream of having a wing party kept our dream alive. When the manager didn’t bring us our coupons, we asked for them and became insane bitches about it.
“Ah dude, Vikings scored a garbage touchdown.” one would ask.
“Alright, hold on.”
We would also bring in old Vikings jerseys for buddies that didn’t have any just so we could get more free wings.
Finally on Saturday the dream came true. We had to wait for a table and as we were waiting we were giggling and joking around because we had collected enough cards to grant us 185 free wings. We joked that the Ben Stiller-like manager would reverse that dumb grin for a huge frown or that he may break down crying. After all, we had nearly $100 in free wings and we could just see that manager say,
“Ah, awww hell naw!” leaving us pissed off.
We sat down and the waitress immediately focused on our stack of cards and she tried to ignore them.
“I’ll handle these cards later ah I’ll get you some drinks first though.” and we ordered our drinks with sinister laughs. In no time the dorky looking manager came up and saw our stack of cards.
“haha ahhhh, I don’t think we can give you all these right away so we might have to work something out.” said the uneasy manager.
“Well, we could simply start out with a hundred wings and go from there.” said Raymond, a statement that has probably rarely been said before.
Between the six of us, we managed to eat all 185 free wings of various sauces and we conquered BW3’s.