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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Twins Ditties

My mother came to hazard when I was just seven
Even then the folks in town said with predjudiced eyes
That boy's not right

Because there’s no more football, baseball is still in its hibernation period, and I can’t watch any primetime programming I figure I’ll talk a little bit about the Twins. The Major League Baseball offseason (or the hot stove league if you will) has been about as boring as watching the bears play on Sundays. The only interesting tidbit is how much the god damn players market exploded with signing average players to $14M per year contracts. It seriously feel like we jumped ahead 3 years with how the market shot ahead.
With that being the Twins entered the hot stove league with a somewhat desperate need for a starting pitcher and maybe-sorta a DH and infield help.

Now with the starting pitcher equation, one must understand that the stupid baseball market would pay about $8M per year for an average pitcher so the Twins signing any big name pitchers would be automatically thrown out the door. They have, however, signed a couple.

Sidney Ponson was the first pitcher the Twins found. Now they signed him to a minor league contract so it’s really up to him to make the team. Looking at the fact that his ERA was 6.25 last year and 6.21 the year before tells me that he has been consistently sucky. It’s like patching up a bad cut using a band-aid found behind the toilet at the State Fair bathroom.
I suppose there’s very little risk involved and Rick Anderson has shown that he can turn some pitchers around (see Dennys Reyes) so we’ll see how this band-aid does.

Ramon Ortiz was the recent pitcher picked up by the Twins. If Ponson was the band aid behind the toilet then Ortiz is the friggen toilet filled with about 6 gallons of crap. Ortiz has traditionally been a god awful pitcher in recent years. So bad that it’s been to the point where during Twins in-game threads, people would comment,
“damn, that dude for Washington--Ortiz or whatever--sucks some major dick.” and it’s mostly true.

Ortiz had one good year with the Angels back in 2002 and then has progressively sucked ass since then. Twins signed this terrible pitcher for….$3 million dollars. $3 million for this piece of shit pitcher! This kind of money may be chump change for the Red Sox or Mets or Yankees but for the Twins it’s a hell of a lot of money.


Then for hitting/fielding the Twins have signed Jeff Cirillo who used to be a staple at 3rd for the Rockies and Brewers but now that he’s 37 he’s a grizzled veteran or whatever. Twins have notoriously loved, *loved* utility infielders to the point where I bet they wished they had a team full of utility infielders. I suppose he hopefully wont play much and who knows what kind of leadership he can offer.

So basically this off season has been about as boring as can be.

Go Twins!

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