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Friday, February 02, 2007

Superbowl 41

Long you live and high you fly
And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry
And all you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever be


If Wisconsinites (Cro-Magnon men) and Minnesotans (actual humans) were to ever agree on anything it would be that the Chicago bears suck. A hell of a lot. A tremendous amount. What’s even worse is that I know someone going to the Superbow this weekend and they’re Bears fans. Check that, they’re not “Bears fans” they are the typical-clueless-violent-die hard bears fans that everyone associates Chicago with.

2003 Miller Park

Boof stands up after a Richie Sexson homerun: BAAAAAH RICHIE SEXSON, I’M DRINKING MILK AND I PLAN GROWING UP TO YOUR GANGLY HEIGHT AND KICKING YOUR GANGLY ASS!

That’s when I noticed this sweet old lady next to me covering her ears and hunched over.

Boof: Oh, uh sorry about that.

Old lady: That’s alright. At least you’re not a Chicago fan. Those fans (shakes her head with a glazed look)…
Boof: What about those fans?
Old lady: Those fans are sooo horrible. They will do anything to get into a fight. I hate them. I HATE THEM!

Yeah I know one of those fans. He even got into a fight at the Metrodome once.

I really don’t want the Bears to win. It would take a lot of fun out of the Superbowl.

For the Superbowl this year my first reaction is to blindly say that the Colts will win. Peyton Manning will call audible after audible until Brian Urlacker’s head will twist around, overheat, and finally blow up.

Colts win and Manning has one of those classic endings where he’s waving his finger and makes out with some hot ass cheerleader as he runs into the locker room.

My gut is unbelievably accurate in relationships but decidedly inaccurate in football so I have to go against it. As it turns out I’m going against my heart too because…I…REALLY…DON’T…WANT…THE BEARS TO WIN!

First of all while everyone was just going completely crazy about two black head coaches being in the superbowl they failed to announce that someone with the last name of “Manning” was actually in the Superbowl. May as well have the Cubs in the world series or Martin Scorsese nominated in the “best picture” category because Mannings have never really won anything.

Not to mention that Manning has a hell of a lot of pressure on him because he’s thing close to a quarterback on both of these teams. With that being said, Rex Grossman just has to hand off the ball five great times in a row and sustain breathing for 4 hours in order for people to be proud of his effort. Hell he could throw 3 interceptions and people will still call it a breakout effort by Rex. Manning could throw 3 touchdowns and people will be talking about his off day as he threw for 500 yards.

The weird thing about the Colts is that their running defense has actually been somewhat decent against these awesome teams. I do wonder what the ever annoying Thomas Jones will do to their defense though.

I have to go against my gut and call a Bears Superbowl victory. It just has that kind of vibe to the whole thing.

Bears 26 Colts 13

Prove me wrong Colts

3 comments:

Aliecat said...

You going to a party that night?

Boof said...

I'm goin to my buddy's place to watch that night.

Eric Wormann said...

I need the Colts to win so everyone will stop talking about how much better Tom Brady and his giant teeth are than Peyton Manning.