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Thursday, April 26, 2007

Skirt Bits

Oh, it's so hard to explain
I know my loss is someone else's gain


-I know I’m really late on this discovery (like many things) but I have found a show that’s better than 24. Better than Lost (actually picking my nose is better than Lost). Even better than Sopranos by a very thin margin.
Rescue Me is phenomenal. It has the funniest episodes I have ever seen, some of the most dramatic episodes I have seen, and the women are all pretty hot.

This is definitely a step up from The Job, which I really enjoyed back when it was on, and it contains the usual list of Denis Leary characters in Lenny and Diane Farr.

God damn this is funny. Watching Leary fumble his way through two girlfriends, a wife, three kids, and another woman he’s banging on the side makes for some wonderful Leary fidgeting. Also one of the greatest moments is when he finds out his daughter is a lesbian and he starts pumping his fists knowing teenage boys wont be messing with her.

Gold, pure gold.

-My Dad has been given an opportunity to retire a bit early from his job and all these work people are asking me if he’s taking this “buyout”. I sure as hell don’t know anything because I figure they know more than me. My Dad has traditionally eaten all the overtime they would give him and for a period of about 5 years he would voluntarily work “7-12‘s”. I think that was more to avoid my mom than anything but some of that was probably his thinking that I was going to be something brilliant like a doctor or accountant and that I would have some schooling to pay for. Maybe that was so he could buy himself a big-ass truck too. Who knows.

I’ve been asking everyone that I’m sure retirement sounds nice but what would he do? He’s got to be occupied from 8am-7pm and I know for a fact that he’s not going to spend that much time with my mom*.

I guess he’d go to races but then again his racing buddy just passed away a couple months ago, but I don’t think that will stop him from seeing races. Maybe they’ll sell the house to me and I can have wild crazy parties every night?

*While we love our mom/wife, she drives me and my dad absolutely fucking nuts. It’s the real reason why I moved to an apartment instead of saving money for a phat place. I have no idea how my brother still puts up with it. Oh yeah, I remember why, it’s because he has to.

-As I arrived to the gym today I got a phone call from S. S has some potential to be the new “special friend” and we’ve been trading calls lately.

S: So where are you right now?
Boof: I’m heading to the gym to work on my pecs. You know, sculpt my guns all nice and big like.
S: Oh so you’re going to do some heavy lifting then eh?
Boof: nah, I’m going to do my thing and get outta here.
S: Sounds like you brought your skirt.

oooooh

Now I have to interject because the last couple women I’ve dated have criticized me of being “too mean” by doing this exact thing. Being mean is my moxy, my funny/defensive way of showing affection. Because I’ve had so many complaints about this, I’ve actually set the mean quirks away because maybe I am being an ass?

This “skirt” comment struck me because
A: I totally wasn’t expecting it
B: It was something I would say
C: The only person I’ve ever heard use “skirt” like that was my old roommate, H who would ask me to bring a skirt whenever I would talk about how I can’t handle hot foods. Since then I have used the “skirt” reference since it’s so god damn effective.

I didn’t have a response other than a “heh, wuh?”

As a result I had a fucking awesome workout and I think that "skirt reference" made her more attractive.

1 comment:

Aliecat said...

I've been watching Rescue Me since the first season and it's fanfuckingtastic! The only thing that would make it better is if it were on HBO and they could say the really bad words. Also, I have a thing for Leary...mmmm...Leary.