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Monday, April 09, 2007

We Have Crap

But I won't let it change me, not if I can
I'd rather believe in love
and give it away as much as I can
To those that I am fondest of


Crap List

1. Begging for tickets outside of a sold out concert.
Neko Case was in town last Saturday and due to my ignorance, I never decided to buy tickets until the day of. Now one trick that I’ve just started trying is buying tickets outside of the venue just before the show starts. The rule is if you want to get into a venue, you can if you’re patient enough. After all, once the first pitch, kickoff, tipoff, opening act starts the scalpers pretty much will do anything to get a couple bucks for their quickly outdated tickets. Hey, the trick worked last week for Patty Griffin so why not try it here at Neko Case?

So if you happened to be waiting in line for Neko Case on Saturday and there was this sorry son of a bitch bothering everyone for one ticket, I was that sorry son of a bitch.

I arrived at 6:45--15 minutes before the doors opened--and the line was already forming. Apparently for every show at first ave. they hold 50 tickets just to sell when the doors opened. I didn’t know this so I didn’t get in line thinking, ‘what for?’.
I waited, paced, yelled out “I need a ticket!” for an hour with about a dozen other sorry son of a bitches. Now when you come across people stepping up to the curb and ask them for a ticket, they look at you like,
“wow, sucks to be you man!” and you can’t help but feel like you’re one of those “Vietnam vets” waiting at the exit of a busy intersection begging for something. Except that instead of wanting a hand out, you’re actually wanting a fair and just transaction.

I finally got into the venue ten minutes before the warmup and I must say, it was well worth the trouble! Neko Case is unbelievable live.

2. Flight Plan
I mentioned at sometime last week how I’ve ran into a good streak of movies and I was hoping it would continue with Flight Plan. Well, that streak went like a left handed hitter against Santana (wooooaaah hoho!).

So I’m imagining a guy with an idea for a movie pitching it to a conference room full of big wigs.

Guy 1: Okay guys, prepare to be dazzled with the 2005 box office smash.

Room is full of suits who are now warmed up and donning smiles

Guy 1: Alright imagine a big ass plane and our lead female character. Now the plane takes off and the lead loses her daughter.

3 minute pause

Suit 1: Okay, then what?
Guy 1: what?
Suit 1: What else? Is there any subplots?
Guy 1: Well this woman just goes crazy over finding her kid and just turns into this super ultra crazy bitch!
Suit 1: excellent! I think we have a movie!

This super ultra crazy woman was Jodie Foster and I just love how this movie ends. Foster scares the crap out of 400 passengers during the flight, finds her way inside the control panel and starts ripping out stuff, and even escapes into the storage area and blows up the front of the plane and in the end she gets her kid back and everything is okay.

Good god. Not even an attractive woman in the whole damn movie. They could've at least threw in some subplot involving Carla Gugino having some sort of a lingere shoot from the cockpit and a torture scene featuring Osama on the chair inside a plane in flight.
Nah, none of that, just one crazy bitch on a mission.

Brilliant!

2 comments:

The Steph said...

No offense, but you deserve the blame for thinking that movie would continue the "good" streak...I haven't even seen it yet and even I know not to hold out hope for it. You could have watched it and not counted it towards the "good" movie ratio stat...

Boof said...

hey, Click surprised me a little bit.

Maybe Flight Plan would be...nah that was a losing battle from the start.