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Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Game Show Talk

I'm rolling thunder, pouring rain
I'm coming on like a hurricane
My lightning's flashing across the sky
You're only young but you're gonna die

With the passing of Jerry Falwell the other day I thought it would be appropriate to write about game show hosts. I’ve always been a bit of a fan of game shows especially back in the day during summer vacation when I’d just stay in the living room and watch game shows until noon.

I believe it all started when I saw the Price is Right and I would watch that religiously along with Classic Concentration. I watched Price is Right for the yodeling dude, the women, and Plinko (who doesn’t like Plinko?) and Classic Concentration was just a fun game to try and guess what the picture represents at the end.

I then got really hardcore into Family Feud and would watch that religiously after school while eating graham crackers or Dinty Moore. At that time the young guy was hosting the show and he eventually committed suicide but hell, it was a fun show just to see how stupid the people were. Actually the whole inspiration for this post was me looking up funny game show moments on you tube (highly recommended). So I just want to give my opinions on all the different game show hosts.

John Davidson (Hollywood squares)
I can’t remember if Hollywood Squares was as bad then as it is now but I used to watch this all the time too. Davidson always seemed like a douche the way his lego hair would part and his idiotic dialogue with the “celebrities”. Although he was a douche, he was a small douche in that he didn’t bug me that much, it’s just the lego hair (hell, people with hair nowadays bug me).

Bob Eubanks (newlywed game)
I never really minded Eubanks simply because Match always seem to be very relaxed and anything goes type of show. Perhaps it was just that he’d say “whoopee” and I’d giggle a little bit or it could’ve simply been the answer to the question,
“Where is your favorite spot to make whoopee”?. Maybe it was the way these newlyweds would fight and get so pissed off at each other too. Either way the only thing that bugged me about Eubanks was his suits and how they’d make the span of his shoulders seem like they were the shoulders of a little girl. I did like how he’d make fun of the contestants when they’d say something stupid and that’s always points for me because it shows that the guy is sick of his job and he takes it out on people through passive aggressive ways which is cool.

Wink Martindale (tick tack dough)
I was never a fan of Tick Tack Dough because that dragon always kinda scared me and the show seemed like it was 15 years outdated. I also think I never watched because Wink Martindale had the grin of a crazy child molesting uncle and that grin would never leave his face. I think it’s even stranger now that he still has that grin and he’s older than hell.

Alex Trebek (jeopardy)
I got no beef with Alex simply because he seems like the most dignified person in the world. The guy should probably run for President because he could probably say “poop” and I would sit and watch in awe without laughing.

Gene Rayburn (match game)
Probably the opposite of Trebek in that he was an absolute pervert. Don’t get me wrong because he would say the stuff that us guys would be thinking but he’d have this really evil look on his face (complete with the Joker face) when he’d flirt with the guests. I would not be surprised if Rayburn was a robot from the future.

Bob Barker (Price is Right)
Barker is a saint. Forget the suave delivery or his ability to host many different types of games in a single show but what I’m mostly impressed with is how he handled all those crazy college students and those old ladies. Those ladies would come running on the stage like complete crazy bitches and then beg Barker for a kiss when he was probably like,
“Christ lady, I’ve been doing this for 30 years. A Probe is not that cool”.
Barker does allow for the show to stop just to point out how strange something or someone is which I think is a huge plus. One thing I did notice back in the day was how during the 80’s he dyed his hair black then one magical day it was white and, as a kid, I was so confused on if this white haired guy was the real Bob Barker or what the hell was going on. The guy sounded like Bob Barker but how does hair just change like that?
I had a dream once where that giant wheel fell off it’s tracks and killed like 20 people in the audience. I also watched the final showcase showdown when someone was within $100 and they’d play that whooping alarm. I thought the place would blow up.

I do have to admit that I was sad when Rod Roddy died though. The show just hasn’t been the same since.

Peter Tomarken (Press Your Luck)
I didn’t have anything against him except that his voice kinda bugged me. The only reason why I put him on here is because of that one episode of Press Your Luck where some guy figured out a pattern to where he never hit any whammys and would gain money along with another chance to gain more prizes. The show went on for an hour and he ended up with over $100k. I think they changed things after that.

Richard Dawson (Family Feud)
Basically, to me, it begins and ends with Richard Dawson. The guy was a pimp, he was funny, he made fun of the super stupid family members, and he was so smooth. From what I found, the best you tube clips are pretty much about Dawson and how he would laugh so hard as the stupidest answers.

“At what month does a woman start to look pregnant?”


He nearly died after that.

I also caught a very nice clip where Family Feud was celebrating his birthday. The guy seems heartfelt and very genuine…but that’s from what I see. He made sure that his producer and director were given credit for such a cool deal.

I loved his delivery, I love how he could do all that weird game show host-child molesting-like stuff and get away with it. He’d kiss women on the lips!

Chuck Wollery (Love Connection)
This guy is like 65 years old and he still looks really young. I always enjoyed his low key approach to hosting game shows but I hated his laugh and that “two-in-2” crap he’d do with his fingers before every commercial break. I’m pretty sure this guy will pass away by the sun melting his face.

Thank god for you tube though.


The Steph said...

OMG! This cracks me up!!!!

Aliecat said...

Ahh, the summers I wasted inside watching game show after game show. I would totally clean house in Hollywood squares though. Have you seen the clips of that show in the 60's and 70's? Very filthy...