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Monday, May 21, 2007

Milwaukee Crap

Reaching in,
The sun’s fingers clutch the dawn to pass.
Even out,
it's a precious thing to bear.

Had a damn good time in Milwaukee--the land of Chicago style pizza residual and beer. There were some annoying things about the trip though.

Crap List

1. 48 degrees

Saturday’s high was 75 in Milwaukee.
Monday’s high is supposed to be 70.

So with the high on Sunday being 48 it seemed as though Mother Nature screwed me over this weekend. I mean I stepped outside the truck in the ballpark parking lot and I wished I had hair. My nipples actually crumbled off my torso.
It was unusually cold for May and you’d think for someone who actually gives a little bit of a damn for the environment--one who participates in his community’s round table in environmental discussion and who is also on the tree board--you’d think that person could catch a break and have some decent 80 degree sunny weather for some outdoor baseball. I mean there’s got to be some benefits for participating in such clubs. For instance I would receive 3 absolute gorgeous days at my disposal or I could have once cloud of rain hang over one specific person for 4 straight hours. Perhaps having lightning strike somewhere specific at a specific time would be cool too or one of those bad ass thunderstorms where nothing get damaged but it looks like hell outside. No, I get nothing.

Instead Mother Nature decided to take the day off and leave the controls to the greek god of idiots.

The roof was closed, tailgating was not even attempted, and we had to wear jeans (and not shorts) into the ballpark. For the record I still wish the roof was open because I’d rather have 48 degrees than this airplane hanger deal they have going there in Miller Park.

2. Thunder Sticks

I remember watching sporting events on tv where the fans were using these satanic things and me thinking,
“whose idea was this and where does this person live…specifically?” There was then a period of time where I never saw these sticks and I actually believed that they were no more because of how irritating they are.

Well, I’m here to announce that they’re still around and after living through 9innings of constant “tap, tap, tap” I would like to believe that Osama Bin Laden himself invented these fucking thunder sticks because they make any headache much, much worse. The entire game sounded like we were being fired upon in Baghdad and this kid right behind me was never going to stop. 200 kids all tap, tap, tapping these things throughout the game. The guy next to me (brewers fan) even admitted that it was probablya bit mistake to give these things to kids.
Then when they blow up, it echoes throughout the ballpark like a shotgun.


Yeah what a joyful time to see America’s pastime and having kids play with noise makers.

I almost thought it was going to be alright when they had this unmarked box of thunder sticks above the section. No one knew what was in that box and there were only a couple pair of these things in the stands. I thought I may have just lucked out. Then in the middle of the 2nd inning the users made it a point to pass out 30 thunder sticks to everyone in every aisle and then the war started.

I have some you tube footage of this specific hell and I’ll have it for you tomorrow along with a bunch of pictures.

So…good times.

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