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Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Milwaukee: The Promise Land

And I know that your skin is as warm and as real
as that smile in your eyes.
But I have to keep touching and smelling
and tasting for fear it's all lies.

Milwaukee this year wasn't too bad. We didn't break any beds this time but we did get screwed by the weather, the motel was something that cockroaches would be afraid of, and the only Twins loss came on the only day we attended.

I guess lets take it from the top

With having a car with four people, a grill, four bags of clothes, and all our food we needed a bigger boat er...vehicle so I asked my dad if I could use his new Yukon. He thought I was joking at first but then when he realized I wasn't he looked at me steely eyed for about 3 minutes. Then he sighed and said yes. Rock on.
When you're driving through Wisco things can get kind bored so we played around with gummy sharks and bears to pass the time. (That's cat lady in the blazer...more later)
Duuuuuun dun, duuun dun, dun dun...
Hey, Crusin' Chubbys!
dundundundudun aaaaaahhhhhh!
This lady (we call her cat lady for the sign she had in her window about being a cat owner) she must not know what cruise control is. Cat lady would pass us, slow down and we'd pass her. This went on about 5 times and I know her speed went from 70-80 at various times. Finally we started taking pictures of her and when she saw us she sped ahead for about a mile...only to slow down for us to pass her again.
This was the hallway of the Days Inn Crackwhore suites. This place was crummy as hell and I'm not even sure it was up to code. One could hear everything coming from every room and we even got yelled at for being too loud. I thought our room back in Milwaukee I was bad but this was not worth half the money we spent.
This was our room and if you notice, some genius decided to put the bathroom right in the middle of two double beds. The sink was outside the bathroom and the tv was nearly facing the sink. There was no fart fan in the bathroom which was direly needed and we could clearly hear the kids next door.
This was the gunk on the ice machine. This side actually faces the hallway which makes me wonder if they even care about the place.
On our way to motel we were starting to talk about food. We knew there was an Edwardo's in Milwaukee so we figured we'd go there. As it turns out, we had an Edwardo's about 9 blocks away from our crackhouse suite. mmmm
Next we decided to go out and paint the town brown. You probably think we're touching this piano. Actually we're not becuase that sign says we shouldn't but pfff it looks like we're touching it eh?
So we're walking and it's balmy and about 70 degrees outside. It was very comfortable and a great time to spend strolling around Water Street. About an hour later the temperature dropped down to 50 so patios were out of the question.
After the Twins game on Saturday night nearly all the bars looked like this with a line of about 25 people waiting the cold. Not being a fan of wall to wall people we got the hell outta there and went to a pub near the crackhouse suites.
Sunday: This is Miller Park. In my opinion this place does not weather particularly well with the stains on the roof and that awful light green color. I think the adjacent kiddie ballpark looks better than this.
Wisconsin folks love these guys.
As you can see the roof was closed probably because it was 48 degrees outside.
This is the famous My Little Pony backpack that the Twins rookie has to carry around as he's setting up the bullpen/dugout. It was a very good find by Hog or Raymond.
And then we came to our seats and I looked in horror at this sight. Apparently our section was one of 4 that were given these god damn things. Check out the video below to hear what it's like to be in that hell.

Notice how it gives directions on how to "make noise". That should be the first clue that these are a bad idea.

and then later on in the game it never stops. I don't know if you can tell but thunder sticks or bambam sticks (or hell balloons) are great for hangovers.
Luckily this kid was sitting right in front of me and she was an absolute sweatheart.
Game ends 6-5 with Ramon Ortiz stinking it up again. Oh well, I suppose I'll have to leave the game and 200 kids with thundersticks. ugh


The Steph said...

I think that it is physically impossible to survive a trip through Wisconsin without gummy creatures! Good call.

Hedy De Vine said...

I absolutely LOVE Edwardos pizza. Mmmm...salivating just thinking about it. I was crushed when the Minneapolis one closed. And the next-closest one is such a long drive.