Hey little girl,
you want it all
The furs, the diamonds,
the painting on the wall
1. Fuck Face
I’m beginning the time of year where Fuckface really starts acting like a god damn fuck-face and starts pissing me off.
Just to recap, my arch nemesis, whom I call Fuckface, is this idiot I work with and ends up ruining all my projects that I have planned for the summer. He’ll come up with the stupidest solutions, predictions, and just can’t seem to do any damn job without screwing it up and blaming me.
I should also give you some background to who I am in this large company. I’m a contract worker who oversees other contract workers. The drama comes in where the company workers (basically the guys who do the same stuff as us only they’re not contract workers) believe that we’re taking their jobs and do whatever they can to make our lives miserable. We aren’t taking their jobs but this company wont hire anymore of their kind and is simply waiting for everyone to retire. Granted there are some fantastic workers on that side and most workers don’t take things out on us, but some wont hesitate to make life harder than it needs to be.
So Fuckface schedules this meeting with me and about 20 of my counterparts for a meeting. The meeting is to express any concerns they have with the work we do which…the fact that we’re there is concern enough. This meeting is also at 12:30pm which is not even during my normal hours of work.
So I arrive, sit down, and make small talk with everyone. No problems but Fuckface is twenty minutes late and good lord do I hate it when people make me go out of my way to go somewhere and they’re late. Fuckface finally comes in and starts out by asking everyone,
“So lets here your concerns over Tom’s crew?”
And he may as well dropped a juicy piece of meat in the lion’s den.
Most of the concerns were areas that we can’t control but we somehow take the blame but other than that it wasn’t too bad. In fact the meeting was a bit satisfying since all 20 of those other guys side with me in that they can’t stand Fuckface as well. FF would tell them something and the snotty remarks and vindictive comments were flowing like crazy. I was actually almost having a good time.
Take that you son of a bitch!
2. Mother’s day
I love my mom and I’m pretty sure my mom loves me but the both of us have no idea on what the hell to get each other for special occasions. For instance my mom continues to buy me cow related stuff because 10 years ago I bought a Gateway computer with cow-like packaging. This last Christmas I received these ceramic cows that you place sugar and flour inside…because they would look great in my kitchen when I cook. She also gave me a sponge holder for Christmas which is a little plastic device that holds a sponge to the wall. It was wrapped and everything!
Then as for me, one year I bought my mom a sewing junk box which is pretty much a crayon box only that it’s to store sewing stuff. Then I bought her a Beatles CD that sat on the countertop for about 9 months. Then I think I bought her some sewing material pattern deal which was the result of me stepping in this craft store, finding the first thing I could find, and then getting the hell out of there.
Then I remember the horroric experience I had when I walked in a craft store about a year ago. I walked in and immediately looked around at all the stuff that is completely alien to me-planters, craft stuff, and bird baths. It was like I stepped into a black hole. I was completely out of my element and I had to get out of there fast.
At one point I remember her telling me to never buy her a gift again but I refuse to listen to her.
This year I settled for…ugh,
A subscription to Clotide’s Sewing Saavy
Even my mom kinda gave me a weird look when I told her but she already had a sewing magazine at home and so why not have a subscription to another? I did also give her a bouquet of flowers so I thing that took the edge off how ridiculous my present was.