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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Boof = Hero

I ain't got no future or family tree
But I know what a prince and lover ought to be

It’s so god damn hot in here. I’m sitting in this conference room and they’ve turned off all the supply fans to this building because…no one works past 4pm.

**clears throat**

I remember the times before my family had central air--we had those stupid window units that would cool off one room. The kitchen had one and my parents had one in their room. Both would be cranked and while the kitchen and parents room would be nice and cool at 65 me and my brothers room would be a sweltering 87 with a fan to blow around 87 degree heat around.

I remember me and my bro hanging out in our parents room until they kicked us out so they can go to bed. We would be in the hall staring longingly into that room of cool air as my mom closes the door on us and we were left in the hallway with half our bed sheets sticking to ourselves. I thought that was pretty much child abuse if nothing else but that image of our mom closing the door on us.

I finally whined and cried enough to get central air which my parents didn’t understand because….

THEY HAD A DAMN WINDOW UNIT IN THEIR ROOM!!!! Empathy doesn’t run in our family.

I remember I would take a cold shower and that would only make me pumped up. I remember practically screaming in the shower because the cold water felt awesome. Then I got sweaty again.

Yeah I had no real point to this entry.

Steph called me a wuss for whining but I’m no wuss. She glorifies her eggnormous blister but I had an infected finger.

Infected finger > blister

In fact, I’m an American hero for having that infected finger because I spread the word as to what paranychia can do to you. I even held a parade for myself and had tootsie rolls to throw out. I didn’t have the classic generic chocolate tootsie rolls mind you. No, I had the flavored tootsie rolls so it was all legit and everything.**

Boof: and American Hero
Steph: a weirdo who obsesses over blisters the size of texas.

I choose Boof!

Now this is like an incoherent rant. I’m done.

**parade consisted of me eating a handful of flavored tootsie rolls as I walked down my street to steal a Sunday paper. Hey, I waved at the neighbor at least.

2 comments:

Jeremy said...

I poot on your better-late-than-never air conditioned house! We didn't have any A/C in our farm house. No central air, no window unit, nada. I remember some miserable god damn nights in that house. Of course, after I went off to college, my parents got central air. Meanwhile I was living in an apartment with no A/C. GNAAAHHHHHHH!!! I wonder if we'll be the last generation that remembers not having A/C in some form? Coddled hippie-ass kids with their long hair and rock music!

The Steph said...

Here's the difference...
Boof: Passes out when infected finger is cleaned.

Steph: Super strong, tough and DOESN'T pass out when blister is popped.

Steph...strong and mighty.
Boof...wimp.