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Monday, June 25, 2007

Poopy Crap

Alone, listless.
Breakfast table in an otherwise empty room.
Young girl, violence.
Center of her own attention.


Crap List

1. The local get-together
Basically it was a county fair without the county involved. Sometimes these can be fun but most of the time they’re good to just roam around and see some people. The food is usually reasonably priced and the atmosphere is generally decent.

Bottomline: it’s a good way to kill a couple hours.

Estimated time spent at our local get-together: 5 minutes

It was a beautiful summer day, Sunday afternoon, and Nascar was on tv so you’d think some people would do something away from the house. Sunday afternoon this place was so dead that the carneys were mere zombies and people were sleeping. It was just completely and thoroughly pathetic. The beer garden only had about 15 people in it!

I blame the lack of people due to the poor planning of the deal. There didn’t seem to be any sort of pattern to the stands or anything. Basically it was like, pavement =rides and grass equals stands (where ever you want to place them). There was bingo which was great…if you’re 70 and the car show which had about ten cool looking muscle cars but good lord, come up with something. There was more action at the old folks home.

2. The “poopy news”
I rubbed my eyes and made my way towards my bathroom one morning. I entered the bathroom where I saw this note taped to the mirror,

Hey Roomie,
Poopy news, yadda yadda yadda
We owe $800 for the electricity bill due to rising gas prices.

Toodles,
The roommate

The bill was actually there and it did look legit but I frown on the “rising gas prices” because….bull-fucking-shit. I haven’t looked at the latest price of coal but I haven’t heard anything. Also I looked at the energy use this year compared to last year and this year was waaaaaaay up.

So what makes this year different from last year? I wondered. Temps were about the same, I haven’t used the fridge to chill the temperature in awhile, and I don’t really have anything that uses that much electricity.

I looked around my room trying to figure it out. Let’s see big tv (nah), stereo that hasn’t been turned on in a couple months (nah), hot tub, computer, alarm clock…hot tub? Hmmm would constantly heating 2000 gallons of water be a major electrical use?
Yes it would.

That god damn hot tub. The hot tub that has been used about 5 times in the last 3 months.

What a great financial decision that was.

Also “poopy news”? Owing $800 is not “poopy news” it’s ‘you better sit down for this’ type of news. Poopy news is when you arrive at the ballpark with your “Michael Cuddyer fan club” banner and you find out he’s been benched because he pulled his left pinky finger or having an infected index finger, or having the runs, or knowing the dumbass at work screwed up again.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

How's the house hunt then? Nothing like paying for a icky hot tub to push you out.
h