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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Sextuplets

When you believe in things that you don't understand,
Then you suffer,
Superstition ain't the way


And one other thing about that bullshit ending,
Basically you could cut the last 20 minutes of any movie and give the excuse that “oh it’s up to the viewers interpretation of how the movie ended”.

Wow, that’s SOOOOOO god damn creative I just shat myself! So intellectual and symbolic by chopping off the ending.

And to those who say, “oh well it’s obvious that he was whacked” Well, was it? I mean if they decided in five years to have a movie or reintroduce the series, Tony’s definitely not coming back? Yeah right.

Anyway if I had sextuplets I would probably shit my pants everyday for 6 days.

I can just imagine the announcement by the doctor,

8th month checkup at the docs office.

Doc: Tommy and Gina, I have some good news for you.

Tommy: yeah I bet you do… assface
Doc looking at Gina: is there a problem with him?
Gina: oh Tommy used to work on the docks. Unions been on strike and he’s down on his luck.
Tommy: it’s tough, so tough

Doc: well, anyway instead of one miracle you two can expect 6 miracles

Tommy: oh Christ you gotta be kidding me.
Doc: nope you’re going to be a father 6 times over.
Tommy then has a look that can only be described as ‘I’m having 5 more kids than I expected.’

Gina: C’mon Tommy, we gotta hold on to what we got. It doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not. We got each other and that’s a lot for us.
Tommy: We also have 6 other kids in the oven or did you forget about that already. Also it does make a difference if we make it or not because how do you divide a Doritos bag eight different ways? I’m going to have to actually start going to church now so I can use the Christian card for some of these kids.

Alright, we’ll give it a shot

Fast forward to the birth. Three kids pop out and now the next three are on the way. Tommy holds Gina’s hand and helps her though

Tom: Ohhhh we’re half way there
Gina: OOOOOOOHHOOOOOH LIVIN ON A PRAYER
Tom: what? The hell does that mean?

Pop, pop, pop the rest of the babies come out.

***********

Good lord that would suck. I mean yeah miracle of birth and 6 little miracles and all that but good lord. I suppose I could raise them to be baseball players and put all my hope and dreams into all of them so I could live vicariously through all of them. All six of them. I would name three ‘Huey, Dewey, and Louie’ and laugh about it for 50 years. They would hate me but it would be funny!

I would be a terrible father based on my sense of humor. Another kid could be named Dick and another would be Trickle. Their grandfather would be proud.
Their Grandmothers would probably be appalled.

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