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Monday, July 16, 2007

756 Crap

There's a token of my openness.
Of my need to not disappear.
How I'm feeling, so revealing to me.
I found my mind too clear.

Crap List

1. “so and so” not attending Barry Bonds’ record breaking home run.

The question is: Should Bud Selig, the MLB commissioner, be there when Barry Bonds breaks Hank Aaron’s home run record? This last week during the all star game (the utterly boring and worthless all star game) this was the major point of discussion. Selig still doesn’t know if he’ll be there for that moment and everyone is up in arms about it.

Bud Selig has, and always will be, one of the people I’ve despise the most. It could be his introduction to interleague play, the wild card is still debatable, and he tried to contract my favorite team. He tried to wipe away the Minnesota Twins from playing baseball despite the cheap ass owner, the terrible stadium, and that his team (Milwaukee Brewers) would’ve benefited the most from such a idea.

I don’t like Bud Selig. I hate hearing his voice and I hate that he replaced a genuine guy like Faye Vincent because the owners wanted a puppet instead of a guy who was objective on things.

However with this big question, I actually understand if Selig doesn’t attend. Think about it for a second, Bonds is at 755 home runs and he could hit one at any time. Of course with every pitcher not wanting to be “that guy” and managers simply wanting to preserve a lead (or not give one up), and pitchers simply not giving him anything to hit it could seriously take a month before he hits another home run.

…and everyone wants the commissioner to sit there at every Giants game for an entire month (or however long it takes)?

I can only imagine that I would be completely annoyed and pissed off after the first game.

Baseball announcer: and now the Man of the Hour, Barry Bonds, is up. It looks like they’re going to walk him.
Commissioner Boof: aaaaaaHHHHHH FUCK YOU stupid fucking god damn Chad Billingsley. You WUSS! GET ME OUT OF THIS TORTURE! UNDERHAND THE GOD DAMN BALL! AT LEAST PITCH TO HIM!! FOR GOD SAKES GET THIS OVER WITH.

And that’s only the 2nd game let alone the 20th.

Now as for Hank Aaron himself not being there? I don’t blame this guy one damn bit because if Hank Aaron played now--with the ballparks being as ridiculously small as they are and as roided up half the players are, and with the way hitters get all the breaks--he would’ve had another 100 homers in this day and age.

Even if Hank Aaron went to one of the games I can almost hear him muttering under his breath,
“I hope you swing so your head explodes and then you die. I hope you do that nice and good”

All that with the HD video camera honed on him.

2. Rock of Love
This is the white and rock equivalent to Flava of Love and it features a bunch of Milfs, skanks, hotties, and groupies in tight leather.

Bret Michaels (from Poison) is hosting and he looks skankier than some of those skanks. His eyes look bloodshot and as if he’s been around the block a few million times.

Eh, I’ll still watch.

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