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Friday, July 06, 2007

Transformers Review/Die Hard 4 Review, Bits, Crap, and Everything else.

It's not a hurry that were in
There's no problem
That's the thing

Oh the things to talk about. I’m going to try to make this into a mega post so everyone can maybe read through this and hopefully Friday will be done with as you’re halfway through.

-First things first, Shane at Greet Machine did something that I will probably do someday. The picture at the bottom is a bottomless pit of laughs (just put the mouse over it). I give my “butthead” laugh every time.

-Die Hard 4 review
I’ve always been a big Die Hard guy from the cool first movie to the completely fake and nonsensical 2nd to the cool 3rd (which had Samuel L. Jackson who makes any movie 5 points cooler).

Die Hard 4 was awesome. It was the best movie I had seen in 2007 and had a good plot, great antagonist, it was funny, John McLane was indeed John McLane (and not some poser), and there were plenty of homages to the prior movies.

Kevin Smith is in there….and I honestly thought he played a very good part. The initial scene of him almost made cringe a little bit knowing he was going to be this over-the-top Star Wars nerd and some sort of facet of the character he always plays. However he was a very important part of the movie and it was probably the best thing he’s done in almost ten years (Dogma)

Lucy McLane has developed into an absolute hottie and served as a very interesting character who definitely has some qualities of her father.

Great movie and I definitely want to see it again.

-For the 4th of July our neighbors decided to shoot off about $1400 worth of fireworks. It’s awesome because we got to enjoy the fireworks without the guilt. See even for the community fireworks I feel a tad bit guilty knowing that the tax dollars pay for it. When the neighbor shoots them off it gives you the rush and pleasure of stealing but with out the guilt of ethics or that overbearing conscience.

Moral of the story: Crash all 4th of July parties so you don’t have to buy any fireworks.

-My quest to see a game in Yankee stadium is now going to be reality! Exactly two weeks from today, I will be seeing a live game from inside Yankee stadium.

It feels like December--**flipping through the calendar**-- er December 11th. There may be a picture or two taken.

Alright I had to separate things because it just doesn’t feel right to drop in this review without a chance to breathe.

-Transformers review

I remember heading into seeing Clerks 2 already hating it. I absolutely loved Clerks but I was afraid that the sequel wouldn’t live up to the first. As it turns out I absolutely hated the sequel. I was so pissed off that I nearly walked out of the theatre and left in a mad tirade. My hatred toward Kevin Smith (whom I once admired and two of his movies are still in my top 5) was at an all-time high. He ruined Randall and that’s all I can say.

I came into Transformers with the same kind of attitude I had before I saw Clerks 2. I heard Michael Bay directed it and they gave him a budget the size of Scrooges money bin which always seems to spell disaster for any movie I see.

I’ve always loved the Transformers. I cried with Optimus died and I vividly remember when they resurrected him

Lil’ Boof: Dad! Dad! Optimus is alive!
Dad just coming home from work: Oh that’s great. He was that car right?
Lil’ Boof: No dad! He was the semi!
Dad: Oh that's nice--Where did your mother put the mail?

I didn’t think there was anyway I would walk out of this movie with anything but a “He screwed it up” mentality. I sat in the theatre with my arms crossed and a frown trying to desperately tone the fan boys out (and keeping my own fanboyness to myself).

The movie starts and I’m still not buying into things. I’m totally being the Doubting Thomas I usually am.

Then came the narration by Peter Cullen, also known as the original voice of Optimus Prime. I can’t remember what was said but I know that once I heard the voice, I had chills all over and a smile crept on my face. The movie starts and I couldn’t take that grin off my face.

The action was great, the acting was very surprising, Michael Bay did put in a love story but it was very believable (in my opinion), the two women in the movie were hot as hell, one of the women wore some killer heels, bumblebee was the absolute shit, and Optimus held the same extreme dignity as he’s always had. The comedy was true and there were homages to the original movie and the sheer statement said by Optimus,
“Autobots, roll out” nearly brought tears to myself, a lifetime transformers fan.

I examined this movie very closely to find something to focus all my hate on but I couldn’t. I wanted and tried--tried--to hate this movie but I couldn’t. I loved it and surprisingly enough, Michael Bay didn’t screw it up. He actually did a good job.

I found myself deeply into this movie. I laughed at the funny parts, I pumped my fists during the fights, and I even rooted for the kid to land the girl.

That’s not to say the movie is perfect though because--taking a couple steps back from my fanboyness--Die Hard 4 was the better movie. Transformers does run a bit long and there was the whole John Tuturro/sector 7 deal which was very god damn annoying and could‘ve easily been cut out of the movie.

I plan on seeing the movie again and I called up my brother to see what he thought of it because the only person who I’ve ever known to be into the Transformers as much as me was my brother. He didn’t like it as much as I did but he might have been stoned too so…who knows.

There has already been talks of a sequel which makes me wonder who would be it because we only had 5 autobots in this movie. I mean they could bring in Ultra Magnus, Hot Rod, Sky Lynks, the constructocons, Devastator, insecticons, the motherfuckin aerialbots, the Stuntocons, OMEGA SUPREME, THE PROTECTOBOTS, GALVATRON, OH MY GOOD LORD THE DINOBOTS!!!!!!GRIMSLOCK!!!!!!

*coughs* did it just get a hot in here?

Oh my god the possibilities are endless.
Have a good weekend everyone.


Forest Parks said...

Great review,

I wasn't quite as into it as you but did enjoy it.

Orbitron19 said...

Now I can go see Transformers with a good attitude. Knowing how into the Transformers you are, you giving it two thumbs up is going to make me go out and drop $20 to take the rugrat.
BTW, if it sucks I'm sending you a bill!