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Friday, August 31, 2007

trying something new live writer deal

hewwo does this really work?

My Fair Song

And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face
But I've come through

I’m so excited to go to the fair this weekend that I made a song.

I’m goin to the fair
Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat
I’m goin to the fair
Oink, oink, oink, oink, oink

I’m gonna get really fat
Fatty, fatty, fatty, fatty, fatty
I’m gonna grow another chin
Oink, oink, oink, oink, oink



Piggy piggy piggy piggy piggy

Food, food food food food

So that was a pretty good song eh?
I plan on finally having spaghetti on a stick and maybe a turkey leg.

I can’t wait! You know those fat ugly slobs that walk around the fair? That’s going to be me!!

I might even wear my Def Leppard tank top too!

Now playing: Queen - We Are The Champions (Live at Wembley '86)
via FoxyTunes

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

8th Place Baby!

You oughta come some time for tea
Maybe we could see the sea
Talk a lot, or let things be
Just enjoy the mystery

November 2006 Buffalo Wild Wings

Hog: It’s official, Dave knows I’m heading into first any week now.

Hog was single handedly blowing out the league with Ladanian Tomlinson and was a game behind the current fantasy football leader. I was so jealous that I started rooting for the teams that he played against. I would actually root for two teams: my Colostomy Crushers and whoever The Goodfellas were playing.

Hog then went on to beat me in week (whatever) when I still managed to score a hell of a lot of points and he held a league record for points in a week. He also took the President’s Cup.

I raised my fist and shouted at the moon,

As the weeks went on the Colostomy Crushers started cruising and The Goodfellas hit a rocky spell. Six amazing weeks later the Colostomy Crushers were tied with The Goodfellas for 2nd place. The last game of the season and both teams happened to be squaring off against each other. Winner wins $100, loser wins only a measly $50.

I wanted that game so bad and I wanted to beat hog so bad.

The Goodfellas: 60 some points
Colostomy Crushers: 110?--a hell of a lot of points.

I won that $100 and Hog was pissed.

It was (and probably will be) my finest fantasy football hour.
(cue: Simply the Best) even though I was 2nd best…

As I start a new year I seriously doubt I can keep up that kind of production.

Anyway ladies and gentlemen I present you

Giggity Giggity

QB: Donavon McNabb
QB: Matt Leinhart

RB: Brian Westbrook
RB: Laurance Maroney
RB: Fred Taylor
RB: Ladell Betts
RB: Mike Bell
RB: Chris Brown

WR: Donald Driver
WR: Vincent Jackson
WR: Laverneous Coles
WR: Santana Moss
WR: Ronald Curry
WR: Robert Meachem

TE: Antonio Gates

K: Olindo Mare
K: Mike “the nuge” Nugent

Def: Pittsburgh

At first glance I think this is a pretty decent 8th place team. I mean at running back I got a bunch of idiots and at wide receiver I have a bunch of idiots. Man, this season is going to really suck!

But the more I look at it the more I start to feel okay about everything.

I mean McNabb at quarterback is very cool and he’s been solid the past…thousand years. If not, I really like how Leinhart comes off with those receivers he has.

At running back I’m a little skeptical on Westbrook and Maroney. Westbrook is the annoying guy in the back and he’s also the 2nd Eagle I took. Maroney is probably going to get jerked around by that annoying slob of a coach he’s got. Then there’s Betts, Brown, Bell--the obligatory Denver Bronco’s running back, and Taylor. Each of those guys has a decent possibility of being a number one back but it’s all just a crap shoot.

Receivers I’m really struggling at. Driver was okay and Vincent Jackson was a guy I really, really wanted (Colston being the other). Moss and Coles are alright and Curry and Meachum were my WTF picks of 2007. I figure, why the hell not. The Saints seem to find a new awesome receiver every week anyway so might as well try.

Tight end I just couldn’t help but to pick Antonio Gates. I didn’t really want to but I was looking at a bunch of receivers that I didn’t care for and the thought of having Gates again really seemed to tip the scales.

So based on my tendencies,
Denver Broncos running back: check
Really good tight end: check

8th place here I come!
As long as I beat Hog then it's alright though.

Now playing: Patty Griffin - 10 Million Miles [Live]
via FoxyTunes

Monday, August 27, 2007

Network Crap

No more turning away
From the weak and the weary
No more turning away
From the coldness inside

Crap List

1. Uninterested people on the phone.

Online dating definitely has it’s good and bad points. With online dating you can separate all the deal breakers fairly easy and find, through a query, who matches your needs. It’s kinda like finding a car.

I find what seems to be an attractive woman who has similar interests as me. We swap a couple emails and have a semi decent interaction. She gives me her phone number and I give her a call.

Boof: Hey E, how are you?
E: fine
Boof: Did you have a good weekend?
E: yeah I’m actually in Texas right now.

And the conversation went on for about another 5 awkward minutes until I finally wrapped things up and went from there. Basically I figured she was on vacation and it was probably a bad time to start talking to her on the phone.

Sorry, my bad.

One thing I should probably say though is that I’m awesome as hell when it comes to talking to potential dates on the phone. I have never had any sort of awkwardness when talking on the phone to anyone and nearly every conversation has been a half hour long (even the initial phone call).

I usually dislike talking on the phone otherwise but with women I’m awesome at it. Once I have the number then I work my magic.

So I figured I’d give E another shot when she’s not on vacation. She even emailed me to let me know she was back home and that she’d like to hang out sometime.


Boof: E, how are you?
E: fine

Lets stop right there. Fine. I hate it when people simply just say “fine” when asked how are you. It tells me you’re pissed and that you have other things you’re worried about. Also it just ends whatever greeting I give you. Ask me how I am. Elaborate on why you are just “fine”.

Boof: So did you have fun in Texas?
E: yeah
Boof:…did you do anything fun in Texas?
E: It was the same old deal.

(alright are you going to give me anything here?)

Boof: Well, how was the 24 hour drive back?
E: not bad
Boof: no troubles at all along the way?
E: nope

(good god woman. GIVE ME SOMETHING! You’d think that with a 24 hour drive that there would be something to day whether it’s how awful the drive was or how some idiot in Missouri wouldn’t pull over.)

Boof: …ah okay so how is everything in the daycare business?
E: It’s alright
Boof: Everything ready for the fall?
E: yep

At this point I was pretty uninterested and out of material. I just determined that she wasn’t very interested or wasn’t very interesting. Either way it wasn’t up to my liking.

Boof:…ah I think I hear my work phone ringing.

I then hung up in disgust over how uninterested she was. She wouldn’t elaborate on anything and didn’t seem to know how a conversation goes. I mean meet me halfway at least? Ask ME a question maybe. Make it seem like you want to talk to me.

2. The Big Ten Network
Remember those ESPN plus games that were on every Saturday? Those games where every other channel has some awesome game in HD with Georgia facing Florida or Texas Vs. Texas A&M and then there was the Northwestern Vs. Indiana game on ESPN Plus (aka WCCO daytime). No HD, very bad announcers, and terrible quality.

Remember those games? Well now you can have those games on the Big Ten Network for $1.10 per person. Oh but you don’t get a choice if you want it or not, they want EVERYONE to have this channel and pony up. This channel that will have the Big Ten cross country meet at 8:30pm followed by the crappy Big Ten Rowing preview. Oh and let us not forget the awesome Minnesota Vs. Bowling Green game which is sure to be something that dreams are made of.

All the good games will be on ESPN or ABC because those networks looked over the Big Ten football schedule and decided that everything else sucks. Which it does.

The argument goes like this: If Victory Sports couldn’t get off the ground here with 130 games of Twins baseball, then the crappy Big Ten games every week will not have a chance.

Like I care if Illinois and Iowa are on not on WCCO anymore. I’d rather watch License to Drive or some other 80’s B movie that will be shown in it’s place anyway. I’m sure as hell not missing Michigan St. Vs. Lakeland Dental Academy.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Lottery Bits

The full moon is dead skin. The one down here's wearing thin.
So set up the ten pins as the human tide rolls in.
Like a ball that's spinning.

-I have to admit that when I heard that Eddie Griffin was killed I thought it was undercover brother or a D-back for the Vikings. I actually had to look him up before I found out he was a former T-wolf.

-I like buying $5 worth of power ball tickets just for the fun of dreaming. What would I do with $240 million (and I know taxes take out half or whatever). If I won the lottery I would probably freak out. I would be so paranoid that I would hire two financial planners so they can each check each other. Then I may hire another just to check the two of them so they’re not in cahoots.

I would then probably move somewhere just to get away from the hoopla and live a quiet life trying like mad to keep my money a secret. I would hate the thought of people knowing how much money I have because I would feel guilty as hell. Then I could be like “the dude” and not look like a millionare but I would actually be a millionaire.

Or maybe I would buy a rocket car and a solid gold house.

Of course I have these dreams but then I find out that I only matched one number out of 30 and the dream comes to an end. Kinda like waking up.

-Texas scored 30 runs last night. I think that’s more than the Twins have scored in the last two weeks.

-A little birdie tells me that the new Hamline head basketball coaching position will be taken by… me! Me, me memememmememememememmeme. I wish…if nothing more than the hilarity I’d have.

That does sound nice though!

-A ham sandwich sounds nice too

Now playing: Pearl Jam - Insignificance
via FoxyTunes

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Fart Fantasies

And did you think this fool could never win
Well look at me, I'm coming back again

This morning I had plans on going to the gym and working on sculpting my guns. As it turns out, I just could not sleep last night and I woke up to the dreary looking piece of crap day we had. I guess I shouldn’t have had that last can of pop at 1am.

I then went back to sleep and had the most glorious dream ever.

I was sitting at a bench-like table eating lunch (like the old school lunch tables). I was talking amongst people when I blew ass. It wasn’t the typical quick fart but the lengthy, drawn out, two minute masterpiece where you end up being the center of attention. In the middle of the fart I looked around and the guy two people down from me was laughing his ass off at me because he could feel the 2.1 bench quake.

I’m pretty sure I had a nice dream grin on my face.

With that in mind I remember back when I was a kid living with my parents when I was tip-toeing down the hallway back to my room. I’ve always been a bit of a restless sleeper and I always need to walk around to grab a glass of milk or nowadays grabbing a bunch of olives, my newest addiction. I was tiptoeing down the hall with my parents room wide open so I was as quiet as could be. As I came up to my parents door I went even slower, taking each step with precision. I then slightly set my foot down right in front of the door and simultaneously my dad lets out the king of all farts. It was timed so perfectly that I could’ve stepped on a whoopee cushion.

After that I couldn’t help myself from laughing my ass off so I ran to my room and roared.

One of the best farting scenes came in Ghostworld when Steve Bucemi was having a heart to heart with his slob of a roommate. Steve is hating on the world over his women problems and his roommate says,
“Don’t worry, I’m sure there are other women.” then a couple seconds later he lets out a little ridiculous fart. It was perfect!

Now playing: Elton John - I Don't Wanna Go On With You Like That (Shep Pettibone 12" Mix)
via FoxyTunes

Monday, August 20, 2007

Pitch Count Crap

It gets so hard sometimes to understand
This vicious circle's getting out of hand

Crap List

1. The Fans and Media's Reaction to Santana’s 17 Strike Out Game

And what a game it was! It was one of those days where the pitcher completely OWNS the other team. It was Bug Bunny like in that the batter could swing three times and find three holes in his bat. It was as if he was throwing balls with the break of a whiffle ball but with the speed of a golf ball.

It was simply magical!

So Santana comes into the 8th with about 100 pitches which is usually about the time he gets the boot. I’m sure because he was so awesome Gardy decided to leave him in for the 8th which is risky enough considering he gives up that token homer at around that time. He pitches the 8th and strikes out the side.

He’s now up to 112 pitches and it’s still 1-0. The Twins now have the best closer in the league warming up and everyone still has the hope that Santana will be allowed to break the rules and pitch the 9th for the chance to strike up 20 batters in a game. Such a feat has only been accomplished 3 times and is one hell of a feat.

For the start of the 9th Nathan then comes on and saves the game for the Twins amongst boos and pissed off fans.

ESPN even had a blurb about how if he would’ve pitched the 9th he could’ve had 20 K’s.

The guy had 112 pitches!!! The guy is the most important pitching commodity in the game! Why the hell would they risk him pitching with a tired arm for a chance (slight chance at that) for a record?

Then ESPN, the network that has numerous guys making playoff assumptions based on August records, is no better. This network has “baseball guys” making playoff predictions based on last week. I can’t stand it when people say stupid things like “Oh Detroit’s out of it because they’ve lost the last 3 games” yeah but they have 30 more to go!

“Oh Yankees are so in because they’ve played well over the past couple weeks” yeah but the Yankees suck.

2. The “paint a wagon” episode of the Simpsons

I remember when me and my friend Chris would religiously watch the Simpsons back in our Marshall days. This episode would pop up every now and we’d have different reactions to this episode. Chris love it. It was his favorite episode whereas I hated it and felt it was their weakest episode.

I still do and it still angers me to a point. I guess I never really liked the singing in the Simpsons at all. It’s something the show (or any show) could completely do without. For that matter I don’t care for show tunes or musicals so perhaps the whole idea is just lost on me.

Anyway for some reason I wanted to hear what the producers and writers had to say about that particular episode since I own that season of the Simpsons. I was hoping for something along the lines of,

“This was probably the worst episode we’ve ever created.”
“The fan backlash with this episode was overwhelming”
“Only exceptionally gay people like this episode…and that’s okay”

But no it was all about how much fun it was and how it’s the favorite episode by so many people and how singing is fun and all that crap.

Singing is for singers and if I wanted to listen to funny songs, I would listen to Weird Al or Creed.

Now playing: Pink Floyd - In The Flesh
via FoxyTunes

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Pathetic Bits

The lesson learned was so hard to swallow
but I know that I'll survive
I'm gonna take a good look at myself and try

-I must say after almost three years of doing this blogging stuff I’m starting to come down with writers’ block. I mean I usually have something crazy to share but lately I’ve just been thinking about my one class next month, work, and dating.

I can’t even watch a movie anymore without being completely distracted and wondering what else I could do. Perhaps it’s just the dog days of summer or it’s my anticipation to eat a hell of a lot at the State Fair but this month has been a month of blah.

-I hate the name Donaghy. It looks and sounds stupid.

-Vick is a cool name though. It sounds cool and it’s starts with a V. There’s not many names that start with a V.

-I’ve been a bit addicted to 80’s Rod Stewart videos lately for some odd reason. I was watching the Concert for Diana because… I like those big concerts and Stewarts saxophonist was extremely hot as hell. He was singing ‘Baby Jane’ which was another one of those token 80’s cutesy songs that he sings.

So now I’ve been looking for his 80’s version of ‘Twistin the Night Away’ which was another tune that I kinda like.

-I should’ve known better but when you date someone who’s top two most hated movies are
1. The Big Lebowski
2. Anchorman

Then I should’ve just ended it there. I mean how…why? I can understand The Big Lebowski because women tend to not like that movie but Anchorman?!

Now playing: KQRS Morning Show - KQRS Morning Show 8/15 part 2
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Current Dreams

Why can't I climb your walls
And find somewhere to hide
Can't I knock down your door
And drag myself inside

My dreams have been very weird lately and I really don’t know why.

Dream 1
This is a reoccurring subplot in almost ever dream I have. It’s that I’ve taken this English type class and I keep ignoring it thinking that I can simply catch up. I don’t know what class it is but I keep having this thought that I’m going to fail it based on my own stupidity for not showing up.

I’m not taking any kind of English classes and I would never ignore a class like that but it freaks me out to the point where I’m starting to think I have a class.

That really bothers me more than I’d like to admit.

Dream 2
I think it was a couple weeks ago when I had a dream where I was grocery shopping at Rainbow. I was lazily going around the aisles with whatever I had in my cart. I came around one of the endcaps when I bumped into none other than Terry Bradshaw. I was expecting him to go all crazy and squeal like a pig but he was kinda burnt out and grouchy.

“Watch out where you’re going why don’t ya!” he said. This was very strange to me so I turned my cart around and started talking to him, hoping to get some football stories for whatever reason. He just got really crabby at me and then I purposely started bugging him just to piss him off now.

Then I woke up.

I have no idea what that dream meant. I thought it was weird that Terry Bradshaw was in it (of all people) and that I caught him grocery shopping.

Now playing: Bryan Adams - Thought I'd Died And Gone To Heaven
via FoxyTunes

Monday, August 13, 2007

Oh No!!!!

The storm on Saturday Morning fried the TV in the garage!!!!!
I loved watching Mythbusters in the garage! What am I going to do now!?

Life is so hard. So sad, so short.

How do I make this pain go away?

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Fly Crap

Ive said goodbye so many times
The situation aint all that new
Optimisms my best defense
Ill get through without you

Crap List

1. 300

I think I will forever discount the movie information my laborer workers recommend.


Y: Oh my god, you have to watch The Boondock Saints. It’s probably the best movie I’ve ever seen.
S: Absolutely it’s so fucking awesome. Remember that one scene where they jump off the building!?
R: Oh hell yeah that was so fucking bad ass! You got to see this Tom!

Boof: So it’s pretty good then eh?

Y, S, &R: oh my god you’ll love this movie! It’s non stop action!

So I go and see it and it was nearly the biggest piece of crap I’ve ever seen. The plot was stupid, the characters were annoying, dialogue was dumb, and nothing really made that much sense. It was all guns and barely any story.--not my kind of movie and I didn’t even finish it.

This year I had twice as many people completely cream their pants over the movie, 300. It sounded kinda cool and the story was kinda interesting but because these same guys were going crazy over this movie, I wanted to pass on it.

Finally someone let me borrow the movie since they couldn’t believe I hadn’t seen it yet. The guy bought it on Tuesday and gave it to me on Wednesday.
“Oh Tom, you’re really going to like this! 300 is SOOOOO awesome!”

I watched it and… meh.

They say it’s the ultimate guy flick in that it’s all action. Well, it is but that’s about all there is. There’s not much to the story, barely any kind of character development, and it’s like watching a somebody play Dynasty Warriors (a game that is simply about killing guys in stylish ways). It’s really no different than any other movie about “going against the odds and succeeding”.

The worst part of the movie is that no one can say anything without sounding overly dramatic. I mean it could be something simple and it’s like David Carruso delivering the line.


I was hoping it would be a little something similar to Gladiator or Braveheart but it’s simply stupid. It rates about a 1 on a scale of 1 to Gladiator.

2. That fly

All weekend I had this fly that would not stop buzzing around my room and waking me up at odd times in the night. It got to the point where I stayed up really late with the lights on just to see if I could get it. I took my new edition of Time, rolled it up, and was waiting for the chance to bash this god damn fly so I could sleep easy.

I tried many times and it was just too quick. I gave up many times and decided to go to sleep until I heard this “bzzzzz” flick around my ear and I just had to kill it. The worst part about it is that it would hide after pissing me off so I had to actively search my room for this blasted fly.

So I tried to sleep again.


“Arrgh you son of a bitch fly! I’m gonna git you now!” I would actually say blindly waving my arms around my room.
Friday I was unsuccessful.
Saturday I was severely annoyed
Finally Sunday morning after this stupid fly woke me up at 8am I got up and saw it on my blanket.

I bashed as fast as I could and squished the hell out if it. It was a very momentous occasion for me because now I could sleep easy.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Friday Bits

Now I'm here (now I'm here..)
Now I'm there (now I'm there..)
I'm just a just a new man
Yes you made me live again

-I think this is the first year that I’ve never really given an ounce of crap towards the upcoming NFL season. I believe I finally broke the spell where I would feel that slight urge to simply check on how the Vikings are doing in the first preseason game. I would stare at the screen as if I was watching regular football until it dawns on me that it’s in fact a ‘for the fun of it’ game.
I think it was Daunte’s awesome preseason of ‘05 that really turned me off. That year Daunte had this unbelievable preseason where he completed like 130% of his passes (somehow) and threw for a ridiculous amount of touchdowns.
As it turns out he sucked and I think that turned me off to preseason games completely.

Yet they still charge full price for those stupid games.

-I’ve been watching the Dog Whisperer a lot in the past couple weeks and I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s really only about 3 episodes that get regurgitated around. Every episode it’s “calm and submissive” and taking the choke collar and putting around the upper neck.

Most of the time it’s just wussy owners who don’t step up to their dog. Basically all you gotta tell them is to grow a pair and the dog acts fine.

-Van Halen is coming out with a 50 date tour and I couldn’t give a rats ass. I used to love Van Halen and be obsessed with them. I mean there’s not much better than eruption turned all the way up in your car. Just that now that these guys are all 40 and 50 and knowing that Roth is going to act like a jackass completely turns me off to these guys.

Roth era had some really good music but I just can’t stand the guys voice and his high pitched yelps. Of course tickets will cost about $100 but I’ll probably wait outside to see if I can grab a $30 ticket.

Now playing: Queen - Now I'm Here (Live at Wembley '86)
via FoxyTunes

Thursday, August 09, 2007

New York Pictures: Part 2-Yankee Stadium

The rain fell slow,
down on all the roofs of uncertainty
I thought of you and the years
and all the sadness fell away from me

I boarded the subway towards Yankee Stadium and I was like a kid that just woke up on Christmas morning. My summer goal was just a 25 minute subway trip away.

When I got there I noticed how cool the atmosphere was. I got there a bit too early so no one was around but I wanted some extra time to snoop around and, more importantly, to eat because I was starving.

Adjacent to Yankee Stadium is the New Yankee Stadium which is under construction. This new ballpark is supposed to cost 1.2 Billion.

cool eh?

like I said around Yankee Stadium is pretty cool. It just feels a bit special.

These shops open up and usually have people selling all their hugely expensive Yankees crap. The bars around there are expensive as hell too. I got a burger and fries for like $12 and they wouldn't even give me free refills on the pop either. I could've made a better burger then what I got.

The famous bat which is a meeting spot for a ton of people. It's also just a smokestack too.

I tried to get a good picture of the "Yankee Stadium" lettering on the upper deck but this is the best I could do since it's built in the middle of a cluster F they call the Bronx.

The one thing about my trip was that I didn't know where my seat was. I had ordered my ticket through a friend and I was told that it would be waiting for me when I stop in. It was and I immediately walked out to this sight...

My heart nearly stopped for I was behind home plate on this beautiful day. My section said 206 so I figured I was on the wrong deck to begin with. I then started with my 007 sneaking around so that I wouldn't be kicked off this level.

I took so many pictures in such a short amount of time that I felt like I was from another Japan or something.

I also just wanted to document as well as I could how beautiful everything was. I just couldn't believe how awesome it felt.

I was worried it was going to rain

I then made it to the outfield but not bleachers since they were pretty much taped off for on the 'bleacher creatures'.

I just get a kick how they cut a hole for tv cameras. Something I'm sure that wasn't thought of back in 1923.

One of the things I really, really wanted to see was Monument park which holds memorials from all the retired Yankee players. I thought it was just a ballpark tour thing but they actually open this little area (in left center field) before the game so fans can look and take pictures.

I have to admit that Babe Ruth is one of my favorite players. I actually had the thought of buying a Babe Ruth t-shirt jersey deal but I just couldn't live with myself wearing any Yankees gear. In fact seeing all the Yankee fans made me a bit sick to my stomach. I had to frown sometimes when I sat down and looked around.

The line was huge for Monument Park. As I was standing amongst the herd I saw this at our feet and took a picture. I think about 95% of the people missed this but this could very well be one of the most informative plaques they have in Monument Park.

The Babe Ruth memorial. I believe this along with the two others (Lou Gehrig and their manager) was actually in play for a period of time.

The Yankee bullpen. This blue fence was actually in play for much of the past. Just goes to show how huge ballparks were back in the day.

Finally an usher asked to see my ticket and I figured I was caught. I was about where I came in at this time and he simply pointed to a seat that was just a couple rows back from us.
"Where is my seat again?"
"That one right there" and this was the view of from my seat.

nearly 20 rows back. I could not believe it. I sat at my seat at about 6pm and sat there in awe up until gametime. I just could not get over how cool everything was. I couldn't believe I was seeing a game in Yankee Stadium from this vantage!

I'm very happy that I never rooted for the Yankees once. I was secretly nodding my head after every Devil Ray run and it felt good to be in Yankee Stadium and rooting against the Yankees. I felt like a bad boy.

This guy has this metal plate and he bangs it with a spoon. Everyone gravitated towards this guy and he's some sort of Yankee legend. Before the game he sat next to me outside the gate and I figured he was just some crazy old man. People would come up to him and bang on his plate and thing it was the coolest thing ever.

The game went about 4 hours due to the 15 walks and the lack of a Yankee bullpen. It was alright with me because it gave me more time to enjoy the ballpark.

I then went to Times Square because it seemed like a good idea. They had a huge group of people in front of the Virgin Megastore. Nobody knew what the deal was until we saw this guy dressed up as Harry Potter and then it dawned on us. We were minutes away from the release of the new Harry Potter book.
I'm not a big Harry Potter guy but holy crap those people were. They were walking out of Virgin reading the thing. What's cool about Times Square is 1) the lights and how awesome they are and 2) everything stays open until about 2-3am.

And then after a subway ride where a woman threw up in front of me and a homeless guy fell asleep while holding his ankles, I got back to the airport where I played with a wheelchair until my plane left.
20 hours of New York went by like a blur (as it should have) and I would absolutely do it again. No luggage, great subway systems, and seeing as much as possible in 20 hours.
good times.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

New York Pictures: Part 1- Ground Zero

Each morning I get up, I die a little
Can't barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me

My goal this year was to see Yankee Stadium. I hate the Yankees but I love baseball history. Therefore with Yankee Stadium being replaced in 2009, I had to see Yankee stadium, the park that Ruth built before it was demolished.

I've been to New York twice before so I didn't need to see Ellis Island or the Hard Rock or anything so I planned a very quick trip...about 20 hours to be exact. I bought a ticket to get to NY at 10:30am on Friday and another to leave at 6am on Saturday. I mean why stay at a hotel if I can sleep at the airport right?

Actually the thought of a 20 hour trip was very exciting because I would have this huge urge to see as much as I can without taking the time to do stupid things like jumping on the hotel bed and seeing what would be stealable in the room. Not to mention all I really wanted to see was Yankee stadium anyway.

Therefore my luggage consisted of...

My Camera and...

Nothing else. That was another thing, I didn't need any luggage for 20 hours! I could leave the plane and not have to wait at baggage claim. Basically I get off the plane and get the hell out of the airport. It was shockingly effective. Also whenever you have that thought in your head,
"alright, what did I forget?" I could look over my shoulder and say,
"Camera. Check" and not have to worry.

I came in without any problems and I just wanted to get to the Port Authority so I could get connected to the subway system. By the way, a one day unlimited subway pass was $7 and it takes you everywhere. I once had thoughts of seeing the Yankees ballpark tour but I was unable to secure tickets. Plan B was to check out Ground Zero where the Twin Towers fell. I felt that I really needed to see this. Luckily the subway system went right there.

The New York subway system is one of the most efficient and easiest modes of transportation I've ever used. It's easier getting around New York than Minneapolis or St. Paul.
Anyway I arrive to the stop titled "World Trade Center" and stepped out to a stop that was probably a shell of it's former self. I don't know what was renovated but it was eerie stepping off the subway and seeing just a sunlit hole in Manhattan.

It wasn't much what I expected. I expected something like the Halocaust Museum where everyone silently pays their respects and constantly makes memorials for the lost people.

They have this sign of the victims and...another sign and that's about it. I was a bit disappointed and thought there would be more of a placard or burning eternal candle or something but wasn't much of anything.

This was the other sign they had. Again... I know it's all under construction but a little framed copy of a great speech by Giuliani or someone. Hell, maybe even a signed photo of GW saying "Let's git 'em" would've sufficed. But oh well.

From a construction standpoint it was a bit interesting trying to picture the freedom tower coming from this. It was also simply neat seeing this organized huge hole in Manhattan with hundreds of workers having their own part.

Around the site they had plenty of barricades blocking people from entering but also allowing them to see what was going on.

It was kinda neat seeing it but now knowing what it's all about, I can probably skip it next time I feel the need to head off to New York.

Luckily there was a bit of a boardwalk right where the ocean comes in. After seeing what basically turned out to be a giant construction site, I just started walking and enjoying my stay. Not to mention that I'm starting to love strange giant clocks.

And I got to see a piece of the Berlin Wall. Where is Roger Waters when I need him?

Then I thought this was kinda cool.

This isn't Central Park but still near Ground Zero. It's always a bit fascinating seeing a patch of green space in such a packed place as Manhattan. I'm sure a bunch of dogs have crapped all over this too.

Coming tomorrow... Yankee Stadium!!!!

Monday, August 06, 2007

Bridge Crap

No place for hidin baby
No place to run
You pull the trigger of my
Love gun

…And did I mention I got my computer back!

That sounds so nerdy.

Crap List

1. The Bridge being the political crutch for some people
There’s nothing like having a tragedy and having some airhead tapping his hands on his hips saying “see…I told ya so.”
Did any of you happen to read Nick Coleman’s article on the bridge from earlier this week? It reminds me of the movie “Day After Tomorrow” because it’s completely asinine. Overlooking the false information he goes on to chastise Pawlenty, the Twins, and the war in Iraq because of all the money donated in those three subjects could’ve been donated to the bridge.

Because everyone obviously knew the fuckin’ 35W bridge was going to completely collapse.

And it’s alright that he has that opinion but lets go the full nine--what about the subsidies to the farmers or the money going to other infrastructure or education. Why have money go towards education when there’s a bridge that’s not perfect.

In fact, where was Mr. Coleman with his cute little caulking gun filling in the cracks of the bridge? All that money spent on his laptop could’ve went to the upgrade of that bridge! What an ass!

I love that everyone thinks they’re now a master of bridge engineering and all the different ways of how trusses work and shit like that. Obviously they had high school physics and their bridge of Popsicles could withstand ten pounds and now they’re the king shit.

Let’s just blame some Greek God for how the bridge went down.

2. No Bat
God damn, what does it take for the Twins to get a good right handed hitter. Just someone that can hit 25 homeruns other than Hunter and Cuddyer. We have the pitching but the right handed hitter has been our pain in the ass.

Ugh the window is there! Buy a damn bat PLEASE! We’re getting you a stadium and you promised to put more money into the team. You’re not foolin anyone god dammit.

Friday, August 03, 2007

Thoughts About 35W

Let's take a walk on the bridge
Right over this mess

There’s really nothing much to talk about except for the 35W bridge so here goes nothing.

I first heard about it when I was going to lunch and listening to the radio. After song I was listening to I heard the DJ saying that a bridge collapsed in Minneapolis. I first thought it was a crazy DJ stunt because bridges just don’t collapse but they kept on describing it as “horrible”, “like a scene out of a movie”, and “tragedy”. I knew something had to be up so I turned to the AM news station.

Sure enough the 35W bridge collapsed and the first reaction was “holy shit!”. I immediately called my workers to take a break and call their families because I would never want to leave this info away from them and they were going to find out one way or another so I figured it was best to maintain things a bit.

The thing about this bridge is that anyone could’ve easily been using that bridge at that time. The Twins were playing later and all it took was someone to take a detour through Roseville (coming from the East of course) and head in using 35W. Therefore contacting family and friends were definitely in mind.

I called my parents and told them about what happened. Then I called my brother because he wasn’t home. I knew he was working around the city and at a different place every week (life as a contractor) and he could’ve just as easily been on this bridge. Luckily he wasn’t nor anyone I know so far.

It’s just crazy because everyone uses this bridge and after this happened you think back to the last time you went over it and how it would’ve been like to live through this. As dumb as it sounds, one gets a certain assumption to what kind of disasters can happen to your area. Here it’s tornadoes, floods, straight line winds, and severe cold--nothing that would cause something like this to happen.

So there’s 4 people confirmed dead and 8 more missing which gives you the most gruesome thoughts ever. It could be your neighbor, the person you see at the gym, or your mailman. Knowing some people had a weird notion to grab another cup of coffee or try a different route home can have a tendency to wrack your brain knowing that they missed this by seconds.

I was looking over the front pages of all the newspapers from around the country and the headlines were enough to bring that panic all over again. You see the pictures of this crumpled up bridge and it’s just hard to believe it’s happening here in the Twin Cities. You figure it would be in some 2nd world country or a city in the ring of fire but not Minneapolis.

Between the size of the bridge, where it happened, when it happened (rush hour), how it happened (completely collapsing), the river current, all the re-bar sticking every which way, how there was only a couple hours of daylight in the day, the thunderstorm that was about ready to smack the place, and a dam just upstream makes this an absolute miracle that deaths will only be in the 10-20 range. Knowing this bridge and time of day you’d assume deaths would range in the 50-70 range easily.

Then the after affects with the whole north side of Minneapolis cut off from the city is going to be nuts. All of a sudden 280 is the new freeway which is suitable (considering the circumstances) but crazy. Suddenly 94 is going to act as *the* entrance into Minneapolis which makes any commute nearly twice as worse at it was before this happened. Of course this isn’t about our inconvenience--the victims are first and foremost--but this affects a lot of people around here. Imagine if you live in St. Anthony falls and you work in Minneapolis or south of Minneapolis. Imagine what traffic is going to be like after that first snow this fall.

12 or so deaths though is unbelievable considering what happened and the conditions involved.

Thursday, August 02, 2007


There's nothing much to say with what just happened. I've already heard of a couple people tell me that they went over that bridge at some point that day.

It's just horrible.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

The Queen Review

I felt a little fear, upon my back
I said don't look back, just keep on walking.

Ugh…I can’t wait until my damn computer gets here. Mother fucker!

One day I was perusing the movies and I came across The Queen which I remember was up for a ton of Academy Awards. I typically don’t care for anything British because the dialect always seems so dry and refined. It’s all just too classical for me. I watched most of The Queen and now I really don’t care to watch anything British ever again.

The Queen is all about the Royal Family after the events of what happened to Princess Diana ten years ago. Tony Blair (also known as US’s bitch) just became Prime Minister and had to clash heads with the queen. As it turns out, I don’t know how it ends because it was all too painfully boring for me to continue.

Ugh the truth is it was just like any other family where the parents are too full of themselves to do the right thing and the bickering goes back and forth. I should also point out right now that while I respect Princess Di, I really couldn’t give two shits about the whole topic in general so I guess I had no business watching this.

One of the biggest reasons why I wanted to see this is because of the acting by Helen Mirran as Queen Elizabeth II. I wasn’t that impressed because how hard is it to act like the Queen of England. I’m thinking it’s like mimicking the voice of Robin Leach-it’s not terribly hard from what I see. It’s like ‘how do you think the Queen would act’ and that thought right there is pretty accurate.

I cut the film short because I was just so sick and tired of…everything. It just wasn’t my cup of tea and I honestly didn’t care. Not to mention the British accent was getting on my nerves.

I’m actually going to put this movie in the real *real* chick flick category because I can’t believe any self respecting non British guy would give a damn about anything in this movie. The definition of ‘chick flicks’ seem to be confused for cheesy drama flicks in which I think is an incorrect notion. I believe ‘chick flicks’ are those that only chicks can understand and enjoy. It’s almost like another language for guys because I’ve seen the beginning of Legally Blonde and…I don’t get it at all.

The Queen with the entire Princess talk and crap like that definitely puts this chick flick category.
Women- watch it
Guys-don’t watch it unless your chick will reward you.