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Sunday, August 12, 2007

Fly Crap

Ive said goodbye so many times
The situation aint all that new
Optimisms my best defense
Ill get through without you


Crap List

1. 300

I think I will forever discount the movie information my laborer workers recommend.

2003

Y: Oh my god, you have to watch The Boondock Saints. It’s probably the best movie I’ve ever seen.
S: Absolutely it’s so fucking awesome. Remember that one scene where they jump off the building!?
R: Oh hell yeah that was so fucking bad ass! You got to see this Tom!

Boof: So it’s pretty good then eh?

Y, S, &R: oh my god you’ll love this movie! It’s non stop action!

So I go and see it and it was nearly the biggest piece of crap I’ve ever seen. The plot was stupid, the characters were annoying, dialogue was dumb, and nothing really made that much sense. It was all guns and barely any story.--not my kind of movie and I didn’t even finish it.

This year I had twice as many people completely cream their pants over the movie, 300. It sounded kinda cool and the story was kinda interesting but because these same guys were going crazy over this movie, I wanted to pass on it.

Finally someone let me borrow the movie since they couldn’t believe I hadn’t seen it yet. The guy bought it on Tuesday and gave it to me on Wednesday.
“Oh Tom, you’re really going to like this! 300 is SOOOOO awesome!”

I watched it and… meh.

They say it’s the ultimate guy flick in that it’s all action. Well, it is but that’s about all there is. There’s not much to the story, barely any kind of character development, and it’s like watching a somebody play Dynasty Warriors (a game that is simply about killing guys in stylish ways). It’s really no different than any other movie about “going against the odds and succeeding”.

The worst part of the movie is that no one can say anything without sounding overly dramatic. I mean it could be something simple and it’s like David Carruso delivering the line.

“SPARTANS, WOULD YOU LIKE MAPLE SYRUP WITH YOUR PANCAKES?”

I was hoping it would be a little something similar to Gladiator or Braveheart but it’s simply stupid. It rates about a 1 on a scale of 1 to Gladiator.

2. That fly

All weekend I had this fly that would not stop buzzing around my room and waking me up at odd times in the night. It got to the point where I stayed up really late with the lights on just to see if I could get it. I took my new edition of Time, rolled it up, and was waiting for the chance to bash this god damn fly so I could sleep easy.

I tried many times and it was just too quick. I gave up many times and decided to go to sleep until I heard this “bzzzzz” flick around my ear and I just had to kill it. The worst part about it is that it would hide after pissing me off so I had to actively search my room for this blasted fly.

So I tried to sleep again.

Bzzzz

“Arrgh you son of a bitch fly! I’m gonna git you now!” I would actually say blindly waving my arms around my room.
Friday I was unsuccessful.
Saturday I was severely annoyed
Finally Sunday morning after this stupid fly woke me up at 8am I got up and saw it on my blanket.

I bashed as fast as I could and squished the hell out if it. It was a very momentous occasion for me because now I could sleep easy.

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