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Monday, August 27, 2007

Network Crap

No more turning away
From the weak and the weary
No more turning away
From the coldness inside

Crap List

1. Uninterested people on the phone.

Online dating definitely has it’s good and bad points. With online dating you can separate all the deal breakers fairly easy and find, through a query, who matches your needs. It’s kinda like finding a car.

I find what seems to be an attractive woman who has similar interests as me. We swap a couple emails and have a semi decent interaction. She gives me her phone number and I give her a call.

Boof: Hey E, how are you?
E: fine
Boof: Did you have a good weekend?
E: yeah I’m actually in Texas right now.

And the conversation went on for about another 5 awkward minutes until I finally wrapped things up and went from there. Basically I figured she was on vacation and it was probably a bad time to start talking to her on the phone.

Sorry, my bad.

One thing I should probably say though is that I’m awesome as hell when it comes to talking to potential dates on the phone. I have never had any sort of awkwardness when talking on the phone to anyone and nearly every conversation has been a half hour long (even the initial phone call).

I usually dislike talking on the phone otherwise but with women I’m awesome at it. Once I have the number then I work my magic.

So I figured I’d give E another shot when she’s not on vacation. She even emailed me to let me know she was back home and that she’d like to hang out sometime.


Boof: E, how are you?
E: fine

Lets stop right there. Fine. I hate it when people simply just say “fine” when asked how are you. It tells me you’re pissed and that you have other things you’re worried about. Also it just ends whatever greeting I give you. Ask me how I am. Elaborate on why you are just “fine”.

Boof: So did you have fun in Texas?
E: yeah
Boof:…did you do anything fun in Texas?
E: It was the same old deal.

(alright are you going to give me anything here?)

Boof: Well, how was the 24 hour drive back?
E: not bad
Boof: no troubles at all along the way?
E: nope

(good god woman. GIVE ME SOMETHING! You’d think that with a 24 hour drive that there would be something to day whether it’s how awful the drive was or how some idiot in Missouri wouldn’t pull over.)

Boof: …ah okay so how is everything in the daycare business?
E: It’s alright
Boof: Everything ready for the fall?
E: yep

At this point I was pretty uninterested and out of material. I just determined that she wasn’t very interested or wasn’t very interesting. Either way it wasn’t up to my liking.

Boof:…ah I think I hear my work phone ringing.

I then hung up in disgust over how uninterested she was. She wouldn’t elaborate on anything and didn’t seem to know how a conversation goes. I mean meet me halfway at least? Ask ME a question maybe. Make it seem like you want to talk to me.

2. The Big Ten Network
Remember those ESPN plus games that were on every Saturday? Those games where every other channel has some awesome game in HD with Georgia facing Florida or Texas Vs. Texas A&M and then there was the Northwestern Vs. Indiana game on ESPN Plus (aka WCCO daytime). No HD, very bad announcers, and terrible quality.

Remember those games? Well now you can have those games on the Big Ten Network for $1.10 per person. Oh but you don’t get a choice if you want it or not, they want EVERYONE to have this channel and pony up. This channel that will have the Big Ten cross country meet at 8:30pm followed by the crappy Big Ten Rowing preview. Oh and let us not forget the awesome Minnesota Vs. Bowling Green game which is sure to be something that dreams are made of.

All the good games will be on ESPN or ABC because those networks looked over the Big Ten football schedule and decided that everything else sucks. Which it does.

The argument goes like this: If Victory Sports couldn’t get off the ground here with 130 games of Twins baseball, then the crappy Big Ten games every week will not have a chance.

Like I care if Illinois and Iowa are on not on WCCO anymore. I’d rather watch License to Drive or some other 80’s B movie that will be shown in it’s place anyway. I’m sure as hell not missing Michigan St. Vs. Lakeland Dental Academy.


Aliecat said...

I'm sorry, I wasn't listening...and I skimmed the last half...hahahahahahaha!!!!

The Steph said...

You could watch Days of Thunder!!!