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Tuesday, September 04, 2007

The Fair: Conquored!

Cause everyone's heart
Doesn't beat the same
It's beating out of time

I went, I ate, I walked, and I...

CONQUORED THAT MOTHER SCRATCHER BABY YEAH!

As it turns out I went three days instead of the two that I had planned. Friday night I had the opportunity to go and since Patty Griffin was playing in Garrison Keillor's, Prarie Home Companion I thought I would take part in the opportunity.

I've actually watched A Prairie Home Companion: The Movie and I didn't think it was terribly bad. After watching it on Friday I now believe it's for gay old men in that there's singing, fishing stories, and some weird stories. The first hour is tolerable but then the 2nd hour he goes completely overboard with the stories and it just get so boring after awhile. Not to mention that his accent is very disturbing seeing as he's from the Twin Cities.

Patty Griffin though was damn awesome and worth the price of admission. She sang only four songs along with 2 of Keillor's old gay men songs. Since I had such a horseshit day at work I was hoping that a couple Griffin's songs would put me in better spirits and it did...along with a couple Pronto Pups.

I went to the fair again on Saturday and this was where I was going to do a good majority of my eating. I started out with Cheese Curds and I never looked back.

When I took a break from my eating I waited at the FSN North booth for Steph to join me in my eating. As I waited I saw one of the most beautiful sights these eyes have ever seen.

(Cue: Dreamweaver) Our eye locked for a split second before she looked somewhere else and mine were still locked on her gorgeous face. She smiled as someone walked up to her for her autograph. Her ass was a big surprise in that it was more plump than I ever imagined.

I walked up, smiled, and said,

"Can I have your autograph, Marney?" and Marney Gellner smiled and said,

"Hello, sure. What's the name?"

and I gave her my name and I received this in return.

She said hi to me which is the first step! The next steps is her divorcing her husband, meeting me while I'm stuffing my face with a burger, me asking her on a date when I wipe my chin from the burger greases, and then living happily ever after.

I then looked all over the blasted fair for some Lutheran booth where they served meatball sundaes. At the Prairie Home Companion show they brought in some old lady and she described the meatball sundae with mashed potatoes, gravy, and a meatball to top everything off. Everyone went "awww yuck" in their gay, old man way. Everyone except me where I stood up and rubbed my belly and said "yum" really, really loud. So I tried it and it was delightful. I've decided to add that to my list of foods I must have every year. Maybe next year I'll simply bring my own gravy. Hmmm definitely something to think about.

Despite spending a ton of time at the fair on Saturday I didn't even see half of the stuff I wanted to see so I had to go on Labor Day which is pretty much a personal tradition with me since there's nothing else to do on Labor Day. For Labor Day I basically ate the whole damn fair. It was awesome and I even had another meatball sundae.

I feel terrible. Not because I ate too much but because the fair and summer is now over. I'm still getting that school time anxiety too because I'm actually taking a class this fall.

Damn that day-after-Labor-Day feeling.

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