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Sunday, October 07, 2007

Leavin' Crap

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone

Crap List

1.  Friends moving away.
I'm a guy that values my solitude more than others.  With that being said my friends are the pillars that I can depend on whenever I need some sort of a release.  Whenever I get cabin fever staying at home, I can always depend on someone to watch the game with or to see a movie with.  I wouldn't say that I have a ton of friends nor would I say that I need a whole lot of friends but the ones I do have, I really do appreciate them.

This month two of my "inner core" of friends have already or will move away.  Just reading that last sentence is staggering to me.  It gives me that anxiety type fear that I usually get when everything seems to go wrong.

For Raymond I never honestly thought he would go away.  I remember having this conversation with him,

Boof:  So have you decided on where you're going to work?
Raymond:  Yeah I'm going to be a truck driver.
Boof:  haha nice
Raymond:  I'm serious.  I'm going to Tennessee in couple weeks for training

I never honestly believed him until he left and gave me the text that he was now a Tennesean and that his permanent residence was in TN.  That's when it hit me. 

I never believed that he'd move away because it seemed like a very impulsive move for a very non-impulsive person.  I mean Raymond has never been away from his family, his hardcore-close-knit Italian family and now he was by himself in Tennessee?  I can see some people doing this but Raymond was the last person. 

I feel really bad that he left without any kind of a going away party or any sort of 'water in the face' realization that he was going for good. 

The next person is T who I had met at the U of M.  T and I are big college football fans and we always find ourselves at a bar on Saturdays watching the Gophers lose.  Most importantly T would always be there for when I had frustrations in life and school or that one annoying person who we both couldn't stand.

T is leaving at the end of the month and because of Raymond, I'm preparing for T's move and how she wont be around anymore. 

It just flat-out sucks.  I'm really happy for them in that they're finding out what their niche is but It sucks that something is sort of coming to an end.  It's almost like a death-like category because suddenly I don't have the option of going to see the Gophers with T or playing football with Raymond.  Those options are now gone. 

I'm pretty sure both have no idea about how much I'm going to miss them and the thought that both are going to be gone soon almost puts me in a panic. 

It's just really sad and puts everything in perspective. 

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