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Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Baba Bits

What I wouldn't give for only one night
A little relief in sight
Or someday when times weren't so tight

-The real strange thing about this Vikings team is that they're winning against the crappy teams.  The typical viking curse does not call for beating the crappy teams.  In fact if the Vikings were to play the Patriots and then Dolphins the curse would call for a HUGE vikings win against the pats and probably the most excruciating loss ever to the Dolphins which would create tremendous heartbreak.

The Vikings curse needs 2 things

1. a realistic trust in the team

2.  a heart breaking loss

I don't think there's anyone with a realistic trust in the team.  Nationally it's the lack of talent.  Locally it's the vikings curse and armor that has built up over the years.  Somehow, someway this team will find a way to break our heart. 

'75 the pass interference that was never called.

'87 Darren Nelson at the goal line.

'93:  playoff game against NY--I vaguely remember this but I remember Cris Carter catching a ball at the Giants 20 and then fumbling it away with 30 seconds left in the game.

losing to the bears all those times.

'98 the unspeakable game

'01 forty one doughnut against Kerry Collins.  Cris Carter, Randy Moss, Robert Smith and not one garbage field goal.

Then there's 2003 when the Vikings beat the heavily favored Chiefs in week 16 but then lost to the ever suckable Cardinals in the last week of the year.  What was worse was that it allowed the Packers into the playoffs.

So that brings us to this week where the Vikes have a pretty big game against the Redskins.
With that being said lets look at the two rules for the Vikings curse
1.  A realistic trust in the team:  I don't think anyone has that.  Even now.
2.  A heart breaking loss:  A loss to the redskins wouldn't be heartbreaking but this team is unbelievable in that it finds the most ridiculous ways possible to create heartbreak.  Still, I can't see it. 
I don't think this team really has that traditional curse.  I don't think they're going to win it all but this team has a weird feeling about them.

-house hunting is still underway and I'm learning things everyday.  With the holidays coming I think I'm going to take a break from things.

This last Sunday I had my parents and Steph take a look at one house that caught my attention.  It was a decent house but I never had 'that feeling' about it and my parents were acting very weird about it. 

I'm finding out that my parents are giving out the best overall advice but every anecdote always ends with something so bizzare that it nearly knocks everything previously said into a questionable state.

For instance,

after viewing one home my parents were noticeably quiet.  As if they didn't want to piss me off quiet.  I asked them what the deal was because I wasn't mad and I wanted them to just tell me what they were thinking.  My dad went on to say that the house was good but.... and my mom agreed.  Then they told me about their first house and how they had no money with a kid (me!)

Then they started questioning the race of the neighborhood.  It was so innocent the way they asked but enough for a frown.

Then they gave showed me what they think I should be looking at for homes.  The two homes they drove by were frighteningly close to my place of work that I could literally look out my window and there's MMM looking right at me. 

Dad:  How about this place?
Boof:  I would never live here.  Please lets go home.

-Posting will be even more sporadic over the holidays because I'M GOING TO HOUSTON!!!!  Not that Houston itself is that cool but I'm going to be visiting a friend and going 'bowling' and it's going to be a warm 60 degrees (at least).  I can't wait.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Baseball Crap

Lake Huron rolls, Superior sings
In the rooms of her ice-water mansion.
Old Michigan steams like a young man's dreams;
The islands and bays are for sportsmen.

Sorry between the pressures of home buying and the Vikes game I just hadn't had time for a crap list.

Here goes nothing.

Crap List

1.  The Mitchell report aftermath

I will try to associate the blame as follows

80% Players and player association
20% the Commissioner's office

First I'll start with the commissioner's office.  I pretty much despise Bud Selig.  He brought interleague play in baseball which I've always felt was a terrible mistake.  It's kinda cool at first but it ultimately takes away from the World Series.
Then he brought the Wild card into the mix which does indeed bring more attention to pennant chases but it gives the wild card team more of an advantage with how "hot" a team is in September and October. 
Finally and what I will never forget was how the Twins were an "aberration", how they need a ballpark to compete (even though they have been competing), and he tried to destroy my favorite team with contraction.  He never said, "hey, let's try to make this work.  Let's try to keep that team in Minnesota as long as possible even though that fan base has been screwed by a cheap owner."  Oh no, he (and the cheap Twins owner) tried to destroy this team.  Nevermind that the blatant conflict of interest with Selig owning the brewers or overlooking more deserving teams with less of a history for contraction.  Oh no, he tried to contract a franchise that dates back to the 1900's.

I'll stop there.  I despise the guy.  But I can't really blame him too much in this case. 
He was as the mercy of the players union.  The last thing Selig wanted was another thorn in the battle of Owner Vs. Players and ultimately another strike.  The homerun season of '98 was the one thing that bailed MLB out of that hole.  No way that was going to happen again.  The players union would've never agreed to it and the fans would've crucified him. 
He tried to bring testing in the forefront but I believe it was rejected in the bargaining agreement.  Why would something like that be rejected?  hmmm interesting

How would one bring up steroids up in '98 without a severe backlash in the sport and themselves?

However I do blame him a little bit because he could've, at any time, held a press conference like so.

Selig walks up to the podium with 70 baseball writers patiently waiting.

Selig: *coughs*  First of all I would like to thank you all for the short notice and for being here on time.  Secondly I have a question for the players, Donald Fehr and the players union, the fans, and you the press.
pause
Selig:  Hey, players,  WHAT ARE YOU GUYS HIDING?  LET'S TEST YOU GUYS FOR ROIDS AND HGH!  SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK?

That, right there would've tilted the axis of power between the players and owners with the fans riding the backs of the commissioner.  Fans certainly don't want to pay $20 a ticket to see a bunch of 'roiders. 

Now with the Players: 
1.  The players themselves know what they put in their bodies.  I mean their bodies are a multimillion dollar investment and steroids, being federally illegal, would definitely be a substance that strikes the 'red flag' in the conscience.  Did they not see that episode of Saved by the Bell?  The argument that it wasn't banned by baseball doesn't hold a lick of water because....IT WAS BANNED BY THE FEDS!!!  How could a non-roided baseball player tolerate such crap?  Oh, that's right because then the union would probably blacklist them.
During that federal hearing you guys pretty much told the world you did steroids with all that dodging you did. 
McGuire:  yeah funny how you don't want to talk about the past anymore.
Sosa:  It's very weird how you can't speak English all of a sudden
Palmiero:  Lie all you want you are a colossal dumbass for taking roids right after such a hearing.  Colossal, monumental, even a spectacular dumbass. 

2.  The players association was hiding this as much as they could.  How/why would they be AGAINST strict steroid testing?  For what reason would they be against that?  How come after that congressional hearing when the public was weighing you guys down with their frowns that you suddenly were for a limited testing of steroids.  Weird. 

So if I was to rob the next door neighbors it would be alright because, 'my roommate didn't tell me it was wrong'. 
It I was a MLB player and I took steroids, it would be alright because it wasn't explicitly banned by baseball.
 

What is even more alarming about this subject is how everyone is bending over backwards for the players saying stuff like,

Steroids weren't banned by baseball
The report is unsubstantiated
Selig shouldn't have had his head in the sand.

And the baseball reporters are truly showing their allegiances by defending the players.  They need the interviews, the Christmas cards, and the scoop when it calls and they wont land it if they start being *gasp* objective.

The players are in charge of what goes in their own body and if they take steroids, it's their fault.  No excuses, it's your fault and now pay the consequences.  

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Bits

It's been a long time since the book of love,
I can't count the tears of a life with no love.


-I know, I know.  There was a major Led Zeppelin concert and I haven't even said one word about it.  I haven't even typed "led zeppelin" in months.  The concert was the biggest thing in music and I hadn't even said anything about it. 

To tell you the truth my love for Led Zeppelin is different from that of Pink Floyd.  With the Floyd I love how the music makes you think and imagine (even without drugs).  The  music is always stimulating and it's great to relax to.

Zeppelin is simply pure rock.  It's like I will listen to a couple albums, get revved up, and then leave it for a couple months.  It just happens naturally and the great part about it is that I keep "rediscovering" them.  I mean after a couple months of being zep-less I'll hear a song off the radio and it will be so exciting and fulfilling that the cycle will start again. 

In this respect the music of Zeppelin is probably better than Pink Floyd because that initial drum solo in Rock 'N Roll will literally get my heart pumping faster and make me....

okay, okay it's like sex.  Listening to Zeppelin is a lot like sex.  That's the best way I can say it. 

I'm a collector of concert DVD's and Zeppelin's "how the west was won" blows everything out of the water.

Zeppelin is my one big argument on why Vinyl is better than digital.  Zeppelin on a crackly record is phenomenal.  And you can't bring up Zeppelin on Vinyl without bringing up the awesome spinny wheel on Zeppelin III.

They played some audio from the recent concert on (Monday?) and it was so good that I nearly fainted.  I can't say that I'd do anything to see them in concert but I would probably feel that way about obtaining a bootleg of their show.

-Conversation online

Boof:  Would you like to see a movie sometime?
K:  maybe but what if I'm not what you expect.
Boof:  What do you mean?
K:  What if I weigh like 300 pounds?
Boof: Then I'd say you're not "about average"
K:  You're a prick!  Goodbye

-I've also neglected to talk about Vikings football.  It's a very weird vibe around the Twin Cities in regards to the Vikings.  I don't think anyone really thinks the Vikings are that good but I also think there's a little, "Wait for the dejecting loss" type attitude.  I don't know if they can keep this up but they're proving to be a very efficient football team. 

What would be really cool is if they had an outdoor stadium!  Let's imagine that Jesus comes down to earth and give Minneapolis a check for $900M and they get a stadium.  I think that would simply be bitching.  Especially if it snows.  There's nothing more peaceful than a slow snowfall.  You can't tell me that would be bad to be around.

-My friend from Houston called me to complain about how hot it was.  She had to use air conditioning even.  So I sent her some pictures of our winter wonderland

Monday, December 10, 2007

Anecdotes and Thoughts

And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be
All do is keep the beat and bad company


I must admit that I don't have much of a crap list but I do have a bit of a humorous 'naked Sunday' bit.

Sunday I came back from Buffalo Wild Wings to my roommate, BJ Guy, and the neighbors in the driveway all dressed up.  I got out of my car and asked them where they were headed being so nicely dressed.

"We have the community Christmas party.  We're going to cause some controversy."

Then my roommate had the idea for me to take a picture of everyone and I certainly didn't mind.  Everyone gets together in preparation for the picture as BJ Guy comes over to me and shows me how to work the camera.

BJ Guy:  Alright you basically just press this big button right here.

The thing is he didn't just leave for the picture at that point.  He was flipping through his previously taken photos for some reason.  Perhaps to see how much space he had?

So I saw that he had a couple pictures of the new floor they installed, the new entertainment center, some boating pictures, a picture of a woman sucking a johnson from the hot tub, a picture of BJ guy and his mom, and some goofy picture from Halloween.

BJ Guy passed over the BJ pic somewhat rapidly and blurted out "whoops".

Then after he rifled through those pictures he comes back to the BJ picture and says,

"Pretty cool huh?"  and this is happening as everyone is waiting for me to take their picture.  pfff haha

I can't help but to throw up and laugh pretty at this last episode of Naked Sunday.

 

The house hunting is going well and I can't say that it's the most comfortable process in the world.  I've looked at about 20 houses and there is one that I've been thinking about lately.  I've looked at it twice already and I think it could be something that I would enjoy living in.  I like the area, I like the neighborhood, the yard looked cool...when it wasn't covered in snow, a dry basement, a cool porch, a miniporch in the back, and two killer skylights in the attic.  What I really like about it is the unfinished attic.  I like what I could do to it and it's the kind of project that I've been craving for awhile.

I really like this place but I always like it more as I'm driving away and I don't know why.  Perhaps home buying is just so stressful that I'm just so focused on finding the flaws in a house that when I don't find anything wrong I get disappointed or uncomfortable.  Also 'the game' is something that I'm unfamiliar with too. I know as a buyer that I'm in a good position but I don't want to overstep things.  I mean I figure to give lowball offers to people simply because it's a buyers market and every other day the front page has a story about how the housing market sucks ass. 

Then my roommate gives me the advice that I should wait because the market is going to suck for the next year.  I don't know how much emphasis I should put on that because 1) she was really drunk at the time and 2) I'm not sure I completely agree with her.  I mean I understand and agree that the market is going to suck in the next year but any house that I buy, it's a guaranteed 2 year commitment based on the market and just based on owning a house.  If the market sucks now well it should pick up in a matter of a few years anyway thus making it a good time to buy.  Especially with the rates being as low as they are. 

I suppose I'll take another look with the help of some people this weekend and then figure things out from there.  If anyone is interested in looking at a house with me this weekend, let me know. 

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Friday Bits

And we go running on faith
all of our dreams would come true
And our world would be right
if love comes over me...and you

 

I haven't done bits for awhile so I figured I'll do them now.

-House hunting is going on strong.  I've become more and more comfortable with the process and I may be closing in on one-BUT I'm still looking for that one thing wrong with it.  I've determined the area to which I want to live, the amount of rooms, style, and topography of where I want to live. 

I haven't determined if a bathroom or outhouse is what I want though.

-I had a really nice father-son moment the other day.  My blinker went out on my car and I read up on how you change the blinker because for all I know you need to loosen the vibration belt and undo the thingy which drains the blinker fluid and purges the silicon binders for the other thingy.  After scratching my chin and looking at my car with the hood open I figured it out so I was on my way home.

My dad was shoveling the driveway when I took his truck out of the garage, parked it outside and backed my car into the garage.  My dad looked on quizzically but I was trying not to stop my dad because he always ends up taking over the job for me and then complains.

Boof trying to take out the alternator

Dad looking on:  you know you should do that first
Boof:  okay I just...need to.... do this bolt
Dad: you know it would be easier if you do it this way.
Boof:  Well, I'm doing it this way.
Dad: Why don't you use this socket
Boof:  alright I'll go get it.

Then I come back and my dad is elbow deep in my car.  Dammit!

This time I was trying to completely block him from this small job.  I started to loosen up the bolt when my dad stopped in.

Dad: What's wrong
Boof:  nothing....just got a bad blinker
Dad looking at my new blinkers then looking at my car: hmmm
Boof seeing this he intentionally stands between the car and him so he doesn't get fixed on it.
Dad:  what are you doing?
Boof:  I'm going to do this this time!  I want to learn!
Dad:  Okay, okay
I then took a couple bolts off and placed them on a piece of paper in the next room so I wouldn't lose them.  I came back and my dad had my headlight assembly already taken out.  He even took out the blinker compartment and was working on taking the blinker off.  I was a little annoyed but I was a little happy that we were working together so efficiently because whenever my dad is working around a call he always ends up yelling at me. 

We got the light in there, bolted up, and it worked like new in like 5 minutes.  I then went to go clean up and my dad ran upstairs.  I finished up and went upstairs to venison laid out on the counter.
Dad:  Go ahead and try some of that and tell me what you think.
Boof: I've tried venison before.  We pretty much grew up on it.
Dad:  well, go and try that anyway.

I tried it and it tasted like venison.  It was pretty good and when I told him that it was decent he ran downstairs and started throwing meat into a grocery bag. 
Dad:  I'm sending you this meat with you so you can have it. 

I figured the passing of meat was a good father/son moment as well.  I mean when my mom leaves the farm she always comes back with a grocery bag full of meat. 

It was a tender moment.

-Here's my interpretation on the MLB winter meetings.

Twins:  Alright everyone, if you want Santana I only want serious offers.
Yankees:  Okay I'll give you this golden piece of shit, this bronze POS, and another smaller POS for Santana
Red Sox:  I'll give you this POS with potential, this POS with less potential, and this POS who we simply want to get rid of.
Twins:  no, no, no  If you guys are serious I want "this", "this" and "this"

Yankees:  But those guys are good!  What the hell?  Why wont you just give him to us?
Twins:  Don't be pulling that NY shit on us.  We're not giving Santana away.
Yankees:  oh my god... pfff I guess you don't want to trade him then.  Whatever.  We're going to give you until Monday to trade with us.
Twins:  okay?  Alright Red Sox we need this, this, and this from you.
Redsox:  okay but what if we water down that request a bit... by a bit I mean a whole lot
Twins:  NO!
Redsox:  okay how bout we water it down a little bit?
Twins: No!
Red Sox:  sheesh pfff okay god, you don't need to be snippy

And so...no deal.

Not that I blame Bill Smith too much because the offers he has been given have been kinda crappy.  I mean Phil Hughes is nice but we're talking about Johan Santana here.  The best left hander since Koufax!  He'd win 24 games a year with an average offense.

-I bought Eric Claptons Autobiography.  I just have to hear about how he had the balls to steal his best friends wife. 

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Snap, Crap

Just a phone call away
Now there's nothing to say
As the days roll by, disconnected

 

Crap List

1.  Jewelry commercials

Stupid Zales!  Stupid Continental Diamond!  Stupid Aurther's Jewelers!  Shut up about buying women jewelry.  I get it and I know that diamonds are the stuff that women get pregnant over but enough with the corny ass commercials.  I can't stand the white collar family with the rich, nepotism-rich bastard and his trophy girlfriend/wife. 

Everything is so perfect for that couple!  They live in some rich dink house, they know enough to clean their hardwood floors, the promotion just went through, the morning after pill worked, the dog makes delicious blueberry muffins in the morning, and the mistress got a job. 

Life is great! 

I just wish the commercials were more realistic.  For instance maybe something like the Jack Links commercials with Sasquatch but instead of beef jerky it's diamonds...and they're eating a bag of diamonds.  

 

2.  My unwillingness to ask for help

Yesterday I pulled up my driveway and tried backing into my garage stall when I got stuck in the snow in my driveway.  I stepped out, looked at the situation, and began thinking of ways to get my car out of the mess.  I grabbed a shovel and started shoveling away the snow under my wheel and tried breaking free again. 

Nothing.

I pulled more snow from my car and tried it again.

Nothing

I looked inside my place and my roommate and BJ guy were inside.  All I had to do was ask for help and I would've been in the garage in no time.  It would've been a piece a cake but I just can't.  Unless it's a dire need I'll stay out there and find a way, by myself, to get my car out of that snow even if I'll take me hours.  I just cannot ask for help.

It goes on to other things too.  I can surround myself with friends all weekend with the need to vent but I just cannot do it.  I hate the feeling of weakness and having to resolve to others in order to help ease my internal or external feelings.  If I need help with a recipe (in the unheard of case that I cook) I will do whatever I can to figure it out so I DON'T have to call my mom or ask anyone else.

What is even more alarming is that I could have someone highly encouraging me to ask them if I need help and I still wont ask them for help.  I just can't do it.  I can't risk the admittance that I can't do it by myself. 

What is even more ironic is the phrase that I use the most at work is, "if you need help, just let me know."  I want to help other people.  I want to be the person someone goes to for a lending ear and to steer someone clear of whatever internal demons they have but I can't do it for myself for some reason.