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Monday, February 04, 2008

Median Crap

Maybe one day, along the way
You'll remember me, on this island
Smiling at you, how I used to
Maybe one day, you'll remember


Crap List

1.  The medians on University Ave. 

For the last 3 months or so I've done a bit of research on the Central Corridor which is the light rail line that would connect Minneapolis, St. Paul, St. Cloud (someday), Duluth, and other suburbs.  I know this because I'm looking to purchase a house somewhere along that line.  To me it just makes perfect sense.  The Central Corridor is going to literally be on University Ave and I've been looking at about 20 houses in that particular area.  Just last week the plan for the corridor was projected to be about 1.2 billion which is about a third over any kind of realistic budget the state and feds would help fund.  Whatever.

Scott:  University Ave?  Do they even have enough space on that street?
Boof:  yeah they should because a lot of University has bit of a median which is like a curb in the middle of the road.

Not that I'm an expert but I've actually scoped out the path a little bit.  Yeah, I'm a nerd.

Friday night I went to the Gopher hockey game with some coworkers and afterwards we had some drinks at a bar where the homeless and pregnant go to get their drank on.  T'was a good time and I kept looking out the window and imagining an oldschool locomotive thing whistling down University Ave and me wearing the locomotive's hat and a wide smile engineering it.  It's just one of many crazy fantasies that I have. *and yes, I understand that lightrail is not going to require an oldschool locomotive but its my fantasy dammit!

After hitting on a couple pregnant bitches I turned in for the night and was on my way home.  I approached University form the bar's parking lot, put on my left blinker, looked left, right, and started taking my left onto University.  As I was making my left I started thinking, 'this is where the corridor is going to be.  Right here on the elevated median.  ELEVATED MEDIAN!?'

THUNK-THA-THUNK!  I was now on top of said median.  I went over and now I could hear the wobble of a certain front passenger tire. 

As I turned on the hazard lights and started putting leverage on my breaker bar I envisioned me engineering that Central Corridor locomotive and looking back at me changing my tire at the intersection of Vandalia and University.  I don my engineers hat and yell out,

"Should've used public transportation!" and in retaliation I simply waved my middle finger towards that fucking median.

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