Now I know the rules
Get yourself another fool
Man, I just can't stop thinking about Raymond and Nick at driving along some long and lonesome highway with about 15 more inches of bodily fluids and Kleenex scattered along the top. I bet they gotta make life preservers out of poop!
Last Saturday my brother finally moved out of the house and into his new town home. I was actually pretty proud of him because knowing where he had come from and the amount of years he lived at home, I think it's damn near heroic that he was able to withstand everything for so long. I mean I can't stand 2 nights of living in the house let alone 26 years.
Knowing where he came from, this was actually a huge step for him. I remember seeing him at his worst. He was pulled over for 'rockin the ganja' and that was a pretty steep penalty. He also basically broke down at home and scared the crap out of our mom which is pretty tough in itself. On top of all that he buried himself deep into debt.
I think it was one night when my mom had to make the awful decision whether to let him stay in the house or send him to jail to cool off over the weekend. Everyone in the room (neighbors, cops, friends) knew what the correct answer was but here my mom had to make the decision. It can't be a very easy decision to simply let you son go to jail for the weekend but I even felt it was the right decision because he was just crazy that night. I even had to spend the night at home to make sure my mom was alright.
Miraculously he found a nice paying job, climbed his way out of debt (for the most part), and has a place of his own.
I was getting a little jealous when my brother was claiming stuff that I had set out to claim like the kitchen table and chairs, the 'Married With Children' couch, and our parents junked up (but still pretty nice) furniture. However it was almost a good thing until I realized all the other things included.
Saturday while moving, our mom was acting kind of weird. She was actually off the couch and doing something other than making egg sandwichs. She was actually lifting stuff and bringing it to the truck. It's just that the stuff she was bringing to the truck was the junk that she wanted to get rid of. She was using my bro as her own little goodwill.
She gave him quilts that he didn't need, tables and chairs that were hers but funny, were never sent to the goodwill. She even gave him not one bed, but both beds. What he's going to need with two beds in one guest room, I have no idea. Our mom was so motivated in getting rid of stuff that we had to just leave her before she tossed in their garbage, their literal garbage that was going to the side of the road.
I asked him why he let her do this,
Boof: You know, she's just trying to get rid of all her shit onto you
Bro: I know
Boof: Aren't you going to say anything or do anything?
Bro: eh, no.
Hell, I wouldn't let her bring me a box of toothpicks.