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Sunday, March 30, 2008

Break Up Crap

Oh the pictures have
All been washed in black
Tattooed everything


Crap List

1.  Breaking up
I gave it one last shot with A to see if any sparks happen or to see if we find a connection of some sort.  We went out and the date was pretty much the same as the others:  okay but not great, not bad either but I knew that it just wasn't going to work between us.  Now usually I've been on the side of the coin that get's dumped and I have to wonder what happened.  There were a couple people I dated in the past that left me with a bit of heartache and sadness but...that's what happens.

This time it was me giving the bad news and I'm just no good at something like that.  It would be much different if A was a complete bitch and would go out of her way to trip old people crossing the road but she is actually a really good person. 

The date ended and I told her how I felt with me saying how things just weren't going to work out and I knew she didn't feel the same.  In fact I just talked to her (the day after) and she even used the work "shocked".  I drove home feeling so unbelievably bad that I made someone feel bad (maybe even crushed) but I knew it was the right thing to do. 

Luckily, like I said before, I talked to her today and she was grateful that I let her know how I felt which made me feel better about things.  We'll continue on as friends but I was really worried that I'd lose her completely.  It just sucks telling a really sweet girl really bad news. 

2.  NCAA Final Four

All four number 1 seeds made it to the Final Four?!  How incredibly lame is that!  This scenario assures that all the women, non sports loving men, and moms won the office pool.  No self respecting guy or fan of college basketball would dare to pick such a boring outcome as 4 number one seeds making it to the final four.  In fact I would say that 3 of the last ten years I would fill out my bracket sections at a time and if I ended up with all four one seeds making it, I would crumple it up and start over because that's just silly. 

Why couldn't Davidson win?

3. The bracket at work
I've always struggled to get something competitive going with my colleagues at work.  I've tried to get a fantasy football league going one year but no one was interested and the super boss said that it was against company policy or whatever.  Last Friday I walk to my desk when I notice that all the cubicles have the NCAA brackets near their computer.  At first I was disappointed because I would've loved to be involved.  Since I work nights it seems like I get left out of a lot of things and I would've liked the chance to compete with everyone. 

I grabbed on of the brackets and looked at them.  First seed was HP corporation and they were facing off the 16th seeded Micron PC (or something dumb like that.  It was a tournament of stocks in the stock market!  I thought it was the nerdiest thing ever!  Stocks!?

I mean I try to follow the stocks as much as anyone but in no way would I participate in this nerdfest.  I mean it would probably go something like this if someone asked me.

B:  Hey Tom, do you want to fill out a bracket this year?
Boof:  oh hell yeah, let's see it....Stocks?  This is a bracket of stocks?
B:  yeah it's a bit of a change of pace
Boof: pfff you can have it back.   Go your pocket protector and put on your high waters and fill out your own nerdy bracket.  I don't play that crap.

The thing about it is, I think the superboss is in charge of all this.  The same superboss that said that fantasy football couldn't be played with everyone.  They pass on fantasy football but they'd rather play a bracket of stocks?  I'm going to take my steel toed shoes and kick everyone in the balls or whatever is taking up the space that their balls once were.

4.  That new KFC commercial

I'm talking about that commercial where the family is sitting down eating a bucket of chicken (reminds me of my family) and 'lil Billy brings over his friend who is super polite.  He nicely asks for chicken and nicely asks for someone to pass him the mashed potatoes.  Finally the mom (or milf) tells him to not be so polite.

Kid then says, "Could you please pass the chicken, Nancy?"  and everyone stares at the kid for calling the milf, Nancy. 

I would be just like this kid being all polite and shit towards this family.  I've been like that in the past and probably will in the future.  If someone tells me to not be so polite then I take it as a sign to be "at ease".  Then I would probably openly flirt with the mother.

"Excuse me Milf, could you please pass the mashed potatoes that are next to your very exquisite left breast?"

God I love tv commercial milfs.

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