Search This Blog

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Browner Bits

And I dream your dream for you and now your dream is real
How can you look at me, as if I was just another one of your deals?

 

-I attended the Living Green Festival at the State Fairgrounds a couple weekends ago.  I went because I like to collect refrigerator magnets and collect free things.  This year was a poor year for collecting magnets with my one and only magnet being a crappy Warner's Stellian magnet.  I did get a flashlight keychain and a tube of kid's toothpaste which was cool.

I also like going because I like to find out why half of the booths are even there.  The Living Green Festival is for companies to show off their renewable and environmentally friendly inventions and innovations and too many companies find an excuse to schill their crap there.  There was a company selling window panes and the reason they were there is because the panes were made of wood, a renewable resource, which is a lame reason.  They had a Realtor there as well and her reasoning is that the homes were made of wood.  Another great excuse for trying to be at the living green festival.

I did meet one cool guy though.  I walked up to the Metro Transit exhibit outside the grandstand where a guy handed me this cardboard puzzle thing and started talking to me about the Central Corridor.  The guy was about 6'5 and very polished for being a Metro Transit volunteer.  I asked him some questions as to whether the Corridor project was still going to happen and how cool the Hiawatha line is and then I started to walk away.

Just before I walked away I looked at his nametag and it said,
and get ready for this,
Joey Browner!  Viking Pro Bowler Joey Browner!  I was going to ask him why the hell he's here instead of pounding some hot ass downtown but the magnets were calling me.  I was thrilled and I'm sure all the hippies didn't watch football so no one was talking to him. 

-I ventured into the cafeteria at work where I usually hang out.  It's always empty and there are plenty of windows for oogling and staring out of.  This one day there were two people sitting in my spot and talking softly.  I set up my computer somewhat nearby and started tip-tapping away at my keyboard minding my own business.  I then started playing love songs on my computer and the couple eventually got up and left because I'm sure my love songs were making them uncomfortable which I thought was pretty damn funny.

It just goes to show, never underestimate the power of sexual tension and love songs.

-Broccoli and hot sauce are a great combination.

--Picking right up with my obsession with Diablo Cody, I picked up Candy Girl from the library.  It's probably the first book in 4 years I've checked out of the library and I'm horny as hell eager to read it. 

The book looks used, like any other book at the library, but it's badly water stained and the water was red (somehow).  Also when you open the book, the smell of cigarettes is so strong that I have to throw it across the room. 

I usually wouldn't mind a little water damage but the cigarette smoke is hard to handle.  I mean how can I think of Diablo Cody humping a pole if I have the smell of smoke billowing from her book?  I could talk to the library about the horrible smelling book but I really want to whack off to read it.

I guess I could stuff kleenex in my nose whenever I want to pull down my pants and read it but I'm afraid that I would look ridiculous. 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Joey wasn't pounding hot ass because he has been involved with the same woman for four years.