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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Candy Girl Review

The moon on my window casts a different light
On all these memories that keep me up tonight

 

I finally read a book!  I really wish the "Book-it" buttons were back for adults because if I think I would read 5 books if I knew I was going to get a free pizza.  Oh to be a kid again.

I finally finished Diablo Cody's "Candy Girl" and I now think I am finally over Ms. Cody.  Although I'm sure she'd give the HJ in the restaurant, go down on me in a theatre, and probably eat the pickles off my double cheeseburger I just have had my fill of her.  Reading the book I was led into the life of a stripper and how one gets into the business.  It wasn't completely shocking to me.  It was more of a book for any girls who are thinking of stripping and what to look for.  As a horny ass guy this book was like putting the porno in, getting situated on top of the plastic laid out in the living room, and then finding out it's Barbara Walters in a scat film.

*shudders*

Even her tips for making men crazy shook my head.  For instance she determined that white high heels makes men go crazy (Boof's opinion:  eh...no.  I'm not a big fan of the white ones as much as I am of the red or black high heels.  Strippers-the more you know."  She also found out that by posing as a blonde stripper she gains more tips (Boof's opinion:  Blonde?  meh, I'll tip a brunette or red head twice as much as any blonde.  Mix in numerous references to her foot odor, spooge stained thongs, and sweaty tube dresses and suddenly my candy cane dreams and lollipop fantasies are now in the form of Maria Shriver in this commercial.  YIKES!

She explains how she finds strippers fascinating in how they pretty much control all the men in the joint.  She brings up a stark difference in how she just wants to dance for money and nothing more than that.  As the weeks go by the money seems to control her to an extent and she basically turns into a prostitute in my opinion. 

It was an interesting book but I'm glad I didn't buy it.  And instead of having Diablo Cody dreams I will focus all my attention onto Sara Evans from now on.  At least Sara Evans hasn't written a song about foot odor. 

Point of interest though:  Is Jason Bateman's character in Juno based off of Jonny? 

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