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Sunday, May 18, 2008

Golf Crap

The sweet smell of a great sorrow lies over the land
Plumes of smoke rise and merge into the leaden sky


Crap LIst

1.  Phalen Golf Course

Actually Phalen was a pretty nice golf course.  It's just that if you're a terrible golfer or you decide to swing a club for the first time since August, it's not a great course for the renegade vengeance known as "good intentions" Golf.

Good Intentions Golf is where you place the golf ball on the tee and you hope to god you don't hit anyone or anything that will cost money.  If you hit it in the rough, no big deal.  If your ball drags ass across the fairway, again, no biggie.  Basically it's the fun version of golf where if anything good happens, then it's a bonus because you're expecting to play like complete dog shit. 

Phalen has too many holes were the parking lot is just left of center and that new Lexus seems to have that target glistening on it's passenger fender.  There's also plenty of public roads that draw any shot that seems to hook like a Frisbee.  It if wasn't for a few conveniently placed trees then I'd probably be paying for a couple dents.

I did manage to get a couple guys on the putting green pissed at me when I sliced something that landed on said green. 

They were probably assholes anyway. 


2.  Bryan Adams concert: $50

Friday, when I was at the gym, I checked out the paper when my attention was glued onto the upcoming Bryan Adams concert.  It was actually that night at the Pantages theater and I really wanted to go.

I thought to myself,
"This is Bryan Adams, the butt of so many Canadian wussy singers.  Who would possibly want to go to his concert--except me of course?"

I figured tickets would be plentiful and around $15 since... it's Bryan Adams.  I noticed that the concert was sold out according to the newspaper so I was surprised by that but I figured that I would hang out in front of the theater and ask for an extra Bryan public.  hmmm 
Well, whatever.

I did some research and found out that tickets range from $27-$80 which is fucking crazy!  As much as I really wanted to go I wasn't really feeling the $30 I'd have to shell out and the public humiliation of begging for an extra ticket to see Bryan Adams. 

Stranger:  Ticket?  What's playing? 
Boof:  Ah....Bryan Adams
Stranger:  You gotta be seriously whipped to ask for tickets for Bryan Adams
Boof:  Ah...I'm here by myself.  Shut up.

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