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Sunday, August 10, 2008

dating crap

If I could reach the stars I'd pull one down for you
Shine it on my heart so you could see the truth

I must admit that I'm really burnt out on dating.  I had a date on Tuesday and I was on the verge of falling asleep because I was so damn bored.  Usually when it comes to dating I feel like I should be the one to keep the conversation going and to at least salvage the night/dinner.  Not this time though, she was a nice woman who was alright at conversation but I just wasn't interested from the get-go.  I think it might have been this series of conversations.

Boof:  So are you a fan of Will Ferrel at all?
date:  yeah, I like some of his stuff.
Boof:  Anchorman?
Date:  nah, didn't really like anchorman
Boof giving a different kind of Ferrel movie: How about Stranger than Fiction?
Date:  nah, didn't really care for that either.  I also love --LOVE--Ben Stiller!

ugh, I'm trying really hard not to scowl at her at this point.  I gave her two of my favorite Will Ferrel movies and she crapped all over them.  At this point I'm a tad irritated.  Then she brings up the no-no topic on first dates: politics.

Date completely out of left field:  So who are you voting for this year?
Boof taken back:  Oh well, I usually side to the left of things--
Date interrupts: oh good, I was afraid you were a republican--
Boof interrupting her: --but I've always kinda leaned on McCain this year because of how much of a centrist he is.

At this point I kinda know I pissed her off.  I wouldn't have admitted that if I really wanted a second date but I figured I was honest and I was curious on how she would react.  I could tell I was hitting a nerve because she went in her "here's why you vote democrat" routine on me.  I remained calm and told her why I felt like I did and I think I did a good job of shutting her up.  Then came strike three.

Date:  I'm going to be one of those protesters outside of xcel arena during the RNC.

oooh, yeaaaaah

I take this info as her being completely hardcore dem which I find this unattractive for some reason.  If she was leaning this far right, I would be just as irritated because I think of someone being possessed kinda like a right wing zealot.  I think of the nutjobs who jump up and down with excitement on election night as if they just won a Nintendo Wii.  Is it really that exciting?  I've always *always* been irritated with these weird people.  It's as if they were infected with some sort of disease and now all they can see is blue.

We finally parted and wished each other well.  I think she's more interested than I am since I felt like I just wasted 2 hours of my life during this date.  I know it wasn't so much her as it was me though.  I think I'm so used to people being completely boring or crazy or unstable that I expect the date to go bad.

It wasn't always the case though.  I remember when I started going on my dating frenzy when I would almost expect (and enjoy) a great date.  I would be very up beat and be an MC for whomever I was dating.  I had a good time, she had a good time, and we would make plans for another. 

Since then I've met the complete duds, the freaks, and people who are so boring that I wonder if they even know what "fun" is.  This definition of "fun" coming from a person who doesn't even drink that much. 

I've met the people who answer question with one word and will not engage in conversation no matter how hard you try.
Boof:  So where you work, do they treat you right?
date:  yeah.
Boof:  Is there anyone that annoys the crap out of you there?
date:  nope.
Boof:  How did you decide to get into that industry?
date:  eh, I don't know.

AARRRRRRRGGGGGH!  TELL ME SOMETHING!  PLEASE!  TALK FOR THE SAKE OF TALKING SINCE THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO!  How can one engage in conversation when the other is looking blankly at you giving one word answers or the complete bullshit "i don't know" answer.  Really?  You don't know? 

I even wish that if they weren't interested to simply tell me right off the bat because that would be so much better.
date:  I gotta tell ya, you're nice and all but this isn't going to work.  I'm going to leave and wish you to best of luck in your future.

At that point I would be so amazed and refreshed that I would actually feel a bit up-beat.  No beating around the bush, no fake laughter, no bullshit conversation, just an honest belief and a sincere gesture!

One date we started getting into a deeper conversation which was great.  She asked me what I dream about and I started on about my future house, having a dog, and living next to some cool shops.  I was completely daydreaming but it was fun and I was getting into a zone.  It was very cathartic and true.  I felt like we were about to take this conversation into another level, a possible connection.  It was nearly complete, all I had to do was ask her that same question:

So what kind of things do you think about everyday?
date:  well uh, I don't know....  Like I always hope I don't fall down the stairs before I start to step down.

(blink:blink) sigh

That's the answer you give me?  That is what you think/dream about everyday?  I thought we were actually getting somewhere.  Like, nearly on the path of revealing a bit of ourselves.  No, she tells me that she never dreams about anything.  Really?  How can people not dream?  Do people actually live life without any kind of an imagination? 

I've also dated a couple women who had this ideal of being a "successful business woman" whatever that is.  It's like they didn't know what they wanted to do but they just wanted to show up at a coffee shop in the business suit and read the Wall Street Journal to make other think their shit doesn't stink.  It's like the image is more important than the actual job. 

I suppose I shouldn't crap on people's business woman dreams.  I suppose it's just the frustration of seeing someone who has potential and then seeing the red flags pop up eventually.  There always seems to be red flags and my gut just screams at me, "she is going to be very annoying, very fast." 

I suppose I am doing the right thing in dating but it's so frustrating.  It seems like everyone is very boring or has issues with the dumbest things.  When I do find someone the least bit interesting they cheat, or just want to snuggle (ugh), or they're 2 hours away.  It just seems like it's been so long since I've met someone that I've felt giddy about, someone who has inspired me to plan a date very creative and awesome.  Someone who I could talk with hours on the phone.  Ugh, how the hell do people find this other person? 


Anonymous said...

Boof, does a girl who listens almost solely to classic rock, loves sugary cereals, likes sports (and not in a "I like sports so you'll hang out with me" way), prefers cassettes to cds, and can out eat almost anyone have a shot a date with you?

Boof said...

possibly, Do you make banana bread at all? Preferably without nuts?

Anonymous said...

Just kidding boof. This is Mary still trying to hook you up with Andrea. By the looks of your blog, I think you would enjoy her company. She can make anything that has a recipe. Plus, she would never make a spelling error like I did in the previous post. Don't be mad that I pretended to be "anonymous" whoever that is. PS she's not boring and she won't talk about politics until after you're married.

Anonymous said...

Will you go out with the girl already? Before you end up with someone like your boss Nancy!hpwjhup

Boof said...

ugh... god.... yeah fine. bleh

Mary said...

Boof! I'm so excited! Text me or call and I'll set you up. She wants to go on a date with you so she can end up in a blog someday.