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Monday, November 24, 2008

Hag Crap

The band is just fantastic,
that is really what I think.
Oh by the way, which one's Pink?

Crap List

1.  Unpaid Daytime meetings

I work 2nd shift which is really tough for someone who works 1st shift to understand for some reason.  I have ran into this trouble with our company lunches which our company representative (I'll call her Hag) has begged me to come.  The company lunches are actually quite nice because they usually have pizza or Famous Daves and it's free food.  The problem is that these lunches are at noon which is a bitch for me since I'm either at the gym at noon or doing whatever people do whenever they are not working.  Attending this lunch would mean driving a half hour to work, eating for an hour, and then finding a way to waste another hour until my shift starts which sucks.

I've tried to polite and I've tried to explain my position in how these lunches are very inconvenient for me but these explanations have led to a very airheaded look by Hag.  Not only that but when I do happen to attend Hag always makes a very loud comment like,

"So, sorry we had to wake you up for this meeting TOM!  HAHAHA"  to which I grin and look away.  On the inside I'm very angry because this Hag is being very frustrating and I really want to dump an entire pizza all over her hag-ass.  I have even made the tongue and cheek statement,
"Maybe next time we should have these lunches at 6pm when I'm having lunch" and that just led to a dumbfounded look on her face and the statement,

"Why would we do that?" 


Anyway I received an email about how we are changing health insurance plans and that Hag really wants us to show up.  Knowing full well that this insurance meeting is nothing new I call up Hag and leave the following message,

"I believe that I will not attend that insurance meeting since I wont be getting paid for said meeting.  Instead I would like to sign up for the HSA account and if there are any changes to my current plan, let me know"

Sounds easy enough but I got this response from her,
"Tom, I got your message and I cannot stress to you enough how important this meeting is.  I really think it would be in your best interest for you to show up."
Oh, okay.  Perhaps something else is going on.  Perhaps they're firing us since it's on a Friday?  Perhaps they're going to award me the prize of MVP or give me a giant cake with Erin Esurance inside and she pops out giving me a smaller cake in return? 

So I was compelled to go since it was in my "best interest" to attend.  I showed up, was bored to tears with the presentation, and I concluded that it was absolute bullshit that I "had to be there".  Just as I was leaving Hag called to me and that's when I thought they were going to wheel in the giant cake but no, she simply told me that my health insurance was going up.  Apparently this new plan is taking the average age of everyone in the plan instead of taking things based on the individual.  Me being 29, in relatively good health, and working with a bunch of unhealthy Carl Pohlads makes me pay more in this new health insurance plan which is to save everyone money.  Hag basically told me, "hmm sorry.  I guess you drew the short straw.  Sorry you had to wake up for this meeting haha. 

If there was a well big enough, I would say she should fall down a well.

2.  Dumbasses who can't vote

I'm talking about this current Senate recount bullshit. How about instead of analyzing each incorrectly filled out ballet we burn those ballets and clean our hands of such stupid piddly bullshit.  If one cannot follow directions and fill out a simply oval then they are not smart enough to vote, simple as that.  If they are too stupid that they X-out the candidate or circle the candidates name, then they are too stupid to vote.  Instead of giving them a "I voted" sticker they should receive the "I'm a retard" sticker instead. 

We cannot be expected to make EVERYTHING retard proof in this society so lets not make it harder on ourselves.  This is stupid and it glorifies idiots. 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is what makes "tons of fun" so effective, and keeps her job viable! She uses your politeness and sensitivity against you! Nothing changes! She's still a fat old stupid bitch, and your still getting jacked around!