Search This Blog

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Squirrels are Going to be the Death of Me

Cuz we belong together now
Forever united here somehow

 

Yesterday I was having a bitchin day for being unemployed.  I found my curling nametag, I got my oil changed, and I got my unemployment insurance crap all ironed out (they like to ask very confusing questions).  So on my way back from the douchebag oil changing company when I was pumping my fist violently in the air to the tune of the new Kelly Clarkson song when a squirrel came daringly close to my car.

Boof singing:  I know I got issues but yo---OH CRAP! *THU-THUMP* WOAH.

I looked in my rear view mirror and I saw this little squirrel doing crazy summersaults to a nearby car.  I feel bad and I'm not even an animal lover.  I mean I don't make it a point to run over crap because I might get a flat tire and I'm anal when it comes to flats. 

So now I'm got this crazy notion that this squirrel, that I didn't finish off, went back to it's club and now I have a hundred squirrels waiting for me with mounds and mounds of acorns ready to be thrown at me. 

I'M SORRY SQUIRRELS.  I WOULDN'T HAVE HIT THE DAMN THING HAD IT NOT RAN UNDER MY CAR.  I WAS IN MY HAPPY PLACE AND EVERYTHING WAS COMING UP MILHOUSE BEFORE YOUR RETARDED BROTHER CAME ALONG.

Other than that I've been busy curling.  This last weekend we had a bonspiel (curling tournament) for players of 5 years of experience and under.  Our team consisted of my skip (leader) of my normal team with a couple others from our arch rival to form a sort of "super curling team". 

We were curling at the prestigious St. Paul Curling Club which is one of the oldest curling clubs in the US.  The St. Paul Curling Club which has great ice, lanes where people can sit in comfy chairs and watch with cameras over the "houses" to gain an ultimate perspective, and where the beer flows like wine through the streets (8 pitchers of Summit were included in the entrance fee, more pitchers were then only $2.50!).  I now consider this place to be heaven and I plan on sleeping outside the place in a tent from now on.

The bonspiel was very competitive and the first team we played were the champions from last year which seemed a bit daunting.  We played, we excelled, and we WON!  We didn't know they were the champs until drinking beers with them afterwards and someone mentioned it.  We were about on top of the novice curling world after hearing this bit of news.

Does that mean that we're capable of winning this bonspiel?

Evidently not because we got completely smoked the next day when we lost the next two games.  The team we did beat did continue winning and came within a game of reaching the finals for the one-loss teams. 

So I have huge curling fever at the moment and I'm reduced to watching crazy youtube clips of crazy shots.   

1 comment:

The Steph said...

Why are you afraid that you're going to get a flat from running over a squirrel? Is the little guy going to spin around and sink his nasty front teeth into your tire?