Search This Blog

Monday, July 20, 2009

July Crap

And now our bodies are oh so close and tight
It never felt so good, it never felt so right


Crap List

1.  Check engine light = mood

After finding out that the barometer of my mood literally switches from whether my check engine light is on, I've decided to throw myself in the car market.  I know people get frustrated when anyone uses the term, literally and I'm no exception.

"I literally pooped my pants when I saw my brother for the first time in 4 years!" 
Really?  You actually defecated in your pants?  Are you a cow?

"He literally blew my mind when he played 'piano man' for an encore!"
Billy Joel did all that?  Really?

But I actually mean it because I'll be driving down the highway singing some obscure Elton John song when that retched orange light will decide to come on.  My mood then changes to...

'Fucking Elton John!  What does he have against the name Reggie anyway? Nolan Ryan and Bernie Taupin should literally beat the piss out of him.  I mean, they should physically abuse him until every last drop of urine is out of his system.'

Then one random day the light will flick off and my frown immediately turns upside down and then it's back to singing 'Tiny Dancer'.

I know I don't need this purple Pontiac to dampen my mood.  I've always figured that the thing is purple and it should just shut the hell up and be a good car but I guess it thinks otherwise.  Therefore I've already begun looking, test driving, and researching vehicles.  I've always thought that a person's first vehicle should just be a complete piece of crap because then they can save up and buy something made in the last 20 years and it would great.  That way they can progressively enjoy cars that are newer, cheaper, and overall better than the Flintstone-mobile they've been driving.  I think that's how I've progressed with my cars.

First I had the '90 Regal, then I had my '97 Pontiac and now I'm looking at 2008/2009's.  When I bought my Pontiac I was wowed by the cd player and the equalizer which were as standard as it gets but not for me.  Now I can maybe look forward to navigation system and/or auxiliary plug-ins!

2.  Sunday's Twins game

Something didn't really add up to Sunday's Twins game.  The game went in to extra innings and Texas had a runner on 2nd with one out.  Twins took out their reliever for their knuckle ball pitcher.  The knuckleballer, R.A Dickey is a decent long relief guy but not so much with runners on which makes me wonder why he came into the game.

Could it be that Gardy wanted to simply get the game done with so they can begin their trip to Oakland?  I almost want to say yes because it seemed like a game that could go deep into the night.  I suppose it wouldn't be the best thing for a team to go deep into a night and use up their bullpen for a big fat loss but it damn it, what if they win?  They haven't swept the Rangers in like 30 years!

No comments: