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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Boof and Brett Favre's Olive Branch

Now that you're gone
I'm left all alone
All by myself
To wander and roam

I have to admit, I've been all watching all the news, reading every worthless report, and seen just about every news story on Brett Favre. I already stated last year on how Favre throwing for the Vikings is my "nightmare scenario" and how weird it would be.  As for the latest news, I don't follow It so much for him being a viking quarterback as much as I love the drama involved. 

For instance the Vikings went out of their way to trade for Sage Rosenfels who was a mediocre quarterback for Houston.  They trade for the guy and he's now playing for the backup position?  Then there's Tarvaris who played okay last year and who knows the offense as good as anyone.  He was one dropped pass away from perhaps having an improved 2008 season.  Now he wants to be traded (bwhahahahah)

Random NFL Exec calling the Vikings: "Hey Vikes, I'll trade you this half eaten baloney sandwich for Tarvaris Jackson!"

bwahhahaha

Throughout all this news, I've learned about Favre's alleged main reason for continuing to play football:  To "stick it" to the Packers.

When I first read this I just shook it off an called him and old man under my breath.  Then one day I saw this guy walk across the street with this butt ugly packers jacket and that ugly G on his cap.  This just happened after I read a 5th time that Favre just wanted revenge on his former team.  That's when the light bulb came on.

I hate the Packers and would love nothing more than the Vikings to beat the hell out of them 66-0...and so would Brett Favre.

hmmm

 Is it right for me to hate the thought of Brett Favre playing for Minnesota?  Isn't your enemy's enemy your ally?  Do Brett Favre and Boof really share the same goals in life?

I thought all of those were brilliant questions.  It was like a Christian in North Korea finding a Christian South Korean and both wanting to hate each other but finding out they want the same thing.  Well, I don't know how many Koreans are Christian but I can assume that there's a couple...right?  Probably not.

Anyway I see it like this, I'm extending an olive branch to Brett Favre only to beat the crap out of the Packers with said olive branch.  It almost sounds biblical.

Monday, July 20, 2009

July Crap

And now our bodies are oh so close and tight
It never felt so good, it never felt so right

 

Crap List

1.  Check engine light = mood

After finding out that the barometer of my mood literally switches from whether my check engine light is on, I've decided to throw myself in the car market.  I know people get frustrated when anyone uses the term, literally and I'm no exception.

"I literally pooped my pants when I saw my brother for the first time in 4 years!" 
Really?  You actually defecated in your pants?  Are you a cow?

"He literally blew my mind when he played 'piano man' for an encore!"
Billy Joel did all that?  Really?

But I actually mean it because I'll be driving down the highway singing some obscure Elton John song when that retched orange light will decide to come on.  My mood then changes to...

'Fucking Elton John!  What does he have against the name Reggie anyway? Nolan Ryan and Bernie Taupin should literally beat the piss out of him.  I mean, they should physically abuse him until every last drop of urine is out of his system.'

Then one random day the light will flick off and my frown immediately turns upside down and then it's back to singing 'Tiny Dancer'.

I know I don't need this purple Pontiac to dampen my mood.  I've always figured that the thing is purple and it should just shut the hell up and be a good car but I guess it thinks otherwise.  Therefore I've already begun looking, test driving, and researching vehicles.  I've always thought that a person's first vehicle should just be a complete piece of crap because then they can save up and buy something made in the last 20 years and it would great.  That way they can progressively enjoy cars that are newer, cheaper, and overall better than the Flintstone-mobile they've been driving.  I think that's how I've progressed with my cars.

First I had the '90 Regal, then I had my '97 Pontiac and now I'm looking at 2008/2009's.  When I bought my Pontiac I was wowed by the cd player and the equalizer which were as standard as it gets but not for me.  Now I can maybe look forward to navigation system and/or auxiliary plug-ins!

2.  Sunday's Twins game

Something didn't really add up to Sunday's Twins game.  The game went in to extra innings and Texas had a runner on 2nd with one out.  Twins took out their reliever for their knuckle ball pitcher.  The knuckleballer, R.A Dickey is a decent long relief guy but not so much with runners on which makes me wonder why he came into the game.

Could it be that Gardy wanted to simply get the game done with so they can begin their trip to Oakland?  I almost want to say yes because it seemed like a game that could go deep into the night.  I suppose it wouldn't be the best thing for a team to go deep into a night and use up their bullpen for a big fat loss but it damn it, what if they win?  They haven't swept the Rangers in like 30 years!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Anyone here anymore?

When are you gonna come down
When are you going to land
I should have stayed on the farm
I should have listened to my old man

 

Ah, I'm back.  Hello?  Anyone here? 

So ah yeah, I guess I took a nice sabbatical from blogging for a bit.  About two months off by my lazy calculations and I've finally pulled myself up from my bootstraps (or whatever) and decided to write again.

First I should try and explain myself.  For one, the girl finished up school for the semester and I felt the need to spend as much time with her as I could.  Second, I didn't really have much to write about.  Nothing really that interesting was happening in my life (other than lovey dovey stuff) and I didn't have any fancy comments on current events.  In fact, there really wasn't much going on in the world to really talk about.  It was as if the world was going through a recession of being interesting.  Finally, I've been away for most of the last month so I really hadn't had time to blog in the first place.

First things first, I'm still unemployed.  There's really not much available in the Twin Cities and whatever pesky, meager cleaning job that is available is quickly being snatched up in no time and/or only offers peanuts.  The local job economy is so bad that in fact my girlfriend had to move back to North Dakota in order to find anything.  I don't think anyone told North Dakota that we're in a recession because after my recent visit there they seem to have jobs everywhere.  I saw something there that I haven't seen in over a year here in the Twin Cities, a 'Help Wanted' sign. 

So that's the other thing, the girl is now in North Dakota for the rest of the summer and I've decided to spend my summer in the Twin Cities continuing looking for work.  It wasn't a happy decision and god knows it was one of the toughest things I've had to do leaving an incredible girl in the thick of the only summer love I've had.  So we'll be doing the 'long distance' thing for the next 6 weeks (which sounds a bit ridiculous knowing people that have had multiple year LDR's).  It sucks and it's going to be tough but we'll get through.

The last month I had been doing a bit of travel with the girl.  We had a road trip to Missouri in which I got to be a male Twins groupee for about a week.  We followed the Twins in St. Louis and then in Kansas City.  We then came home for about 16 hours before we went to western Nodak for another 12 days.  In all somehow with all 2000+ miles the car somewhat held together with a noticeable scare of the transmission going out.  Now the check engine light is off and I'm not necessarily looking in to a new car but that could change.

So I have a ton to write about.  I have two ballpark reviews with the New Busch Stadium and the new Kauffman Stadium, Twins added a sweet sign in their new ballpark, and I got a whole crap load of fireworks in North Dakota.  So with all my sudden free time I plan on writing a bit more.  Stay tuned.  I promise.